kidnapped

|nineteen|

doyoung tentatively rubbed my back as jungwoo walked over. johnny stood awkwardly, not knowing what to do.

jungwoo sat next to me, wrapping an arm around me. doyoung pulled his hand back and jungwoo pulled me closer.

after a few minutes i took a deep breath and rubbed my eyes. the room was quiet. i heard whispering and looked through my eyelashes to see mark whispering something to johnny.

"do you want to finish?" jungwoo whispered. i nodded slowly.

i took another shaky breath and started again. "lucas r–raped me when i was younger. h-he said that i was too 'good looking' and he forced me to do things. i was forced to p-put my legs around him a-and he ended up with t-tying me up d-didn't stop u-until he was s-satisfied," i put my head in my hands again. i didn't want to cry. people see me as tough and fearless but i'm really not. i don't like crying in front of people because i look weak. i tell myself i'm strong and fearless and i believe that lie.

all i've ever done is lie to myself.

"i-i'm sorry," i whispered. i brought my knees up to my chest and laid my head down on them. my cold hands wrapped around myself and it made me colder. i got goosebumps and shivered.