Nostalgia

Watching

Kai's POV

Getting up every morning. Getting ready for work. Walking to the train station. Getting onto the packed train. Walking the short distance to the building. Using the lift to the 12th floor. Sitting behind the drums. Adjusting it. Waiting for the rest to arrive. Waiting and watching the clock. Watching the seconds tick away.

Mundane. So mundane.

It is not that I hate my work. Far from it, I love being the drummer of Gazette. But when life starts to become a cycle of repetitive things, what then? How do we break free from that? Can we even break free from that? Has life become that meaningless? First person to come in. Reita. He gave me an acknowledging smirk before reaching for his own bass, tuning it.

Next to enter, Aoi and Uruha. These two had always been my favorite to watch. How one towers over the other. How they compliment each other's beauty so well. One dark, the other fair. Yes, it is true. Both of them had been together for sometime now. How long, none of us had asked. But watching them, watching him is something that I treasures most. Too often, I find my eyes trailing towards his side, watching his hair fall in his eyes, watching his fingers run over his guitar. Watching him also comes with an ache. Ache from seeing another hand touching his, seeing a subtle caress of fingers across his face.

All of which I did not miss since I am watching. Always watching.

Next to arrive. Our vocalist. With a loud thud of his bag containing bricks or whatever was flung on the floor. He then gave us a sleepy grin before walking to the microphone stand, looking at us, expectedly. I started tapping my sticks to count us off before finally launching into the pre decided song.

My eyes wandered to Reita, smiling at the look of concentration on his face. Then I shifted to Ruki, seeing how he poured his soul out, even in just a rehearsal. Next Aoi. Biting on his lip ring, head bobbing to the rhythm. Finally Uruha. And there it lingered. Seeing him grinning at Ruki before he pranced over to Ruki, bumping his hip against the vocalist's, making Ruki lose a beat and a soft laughter sounded from Uruha. His mission to annoy Ruki for the day partially accomplished. A dirty look was given to him which he accepted with yet another laugh.

Maybe it was his laugh. How though I joined them the latest, he had welcomed me first, the rest slowly following suit after it was confirmed that I would indeed be staying with them. He had then laughed, hugging me tightly, jumping up and down with my hands in his. I had then stared at him blankly, wondering had I made the wrong choice. Am I to be stuck with this buffoon for the rest of my contract? He then released my hands, turning to Aoi to laugh at some comment that Ruki had made before turning back to me. It was so cliché. I feel like cutting out my useless brain from my skull at that. Yes. It was then. There was something in that smile and that laugh. That something that made me fall line hook and sinker. That something that made me start watching him. Observing him. That was also how I know of him and Aoi before they even let us know about them. Maybe I am a masochist at heart. Always watching. Continuing on watching even when it starts to cut tiny silver lines into the pumping heart. How each stolen caress smacks me right in the face? How long can I deal with this? Will I reach a breaking point one day?

Wiping away the sweat that formed. Getting up. Packing my things. Leaving the room. Getting on the train. Opening the door to my very dark, very empty apartment. Getting showered. Lying on my bed. Another day of my life have passed me by. The only thing worthwhile throughout it was watching him.