Nostalgia

Christmas

Ruki x Kai

Christmas was when it all started. He looked up to see a pair of dark eyes unhindered by any fake contacts staring at him intently, a stare that did not shy away even when it met his eyes. He himself was the first to look away, a faint flush on his cheeks, one that he cursed himself for. Why is he flushing and acting as if he was the one who was staring in the first place?

Please.

He got up, ignoring the curious looks from the rest of his band mates who are probably wondering why is the leader being all flustered. He gave a feeble excuse of needing some fresh air, something that isn't totally a lie. Being cooped up in a room with no window which is filled with cigarette smoke is too overwhelming even for a smoker like himself. Sometimes he wondered how the other two who had stopped could stand the temptation. Standing at the small balcony, he ignored the fact that he forgot to bring out his coat, letting the cold crisp winter air curl their tendrils around him, the slight wind caressing his dark hair, chilling him.

Let me?

The metal door clanged shut behind him, startling him from his own aimless staring down the almost empty streets. Turning around confirmed his suspicion as he met the almost taunting smile that their vocalist wore almost habitually and even more so when it is directed towards him for the past few months. Well, maybe for the past many months.

Let me love you.

A warm jacket was thrown towards him, Kai stumbling to catch it before it flew past him and down the street below. A soft chuckle was heard as Ruki leant against the rough concrete wall, eyes again fixated on Kai.

"Stop it"
"What?"
"That!"

Lazy eyes casually gave Kai a once over, one that made Kai's belly do silly flip flops. One that the drummer can't understand why.

"I am not doing anything"

The remark thrown back got Kai's temper rising. Standing close enough to Ruki, a finger accusingly jabbing into the shorter man's chest, he went on to emphasize exactly what Ruki had been doing.

"You had been staring at me non stop. For months. Stop that!"
"Why?"

That question somehow drove the steam out of Kai's frustration as he stared at the other, albeit confusedly like a little lost lamb, one that made Ruki want to just take advantage of.

"Because..."
"Please. Let me? Let me love you"

The same words. Ones that were first heard last Christmas eve. The night that both of them had somehow drank too much during the party that they had with the rest of the member The night that both had end up naked and panting under the twinkling lights that were decorating the Christmas tree in Ruki's apartment. The words last uttered before the vocalist fell asleep, arms pulling the drummer close, Kai following suit in pleasurable exhaustion. It was the same Christmas morning that Kai waking up next to a warm body curled up against him, shocking him to silence when he remembered the raunchy night that both of them had shared, one that he wasn't even sure Ruki would remember of, the vocalist was indeed drunk off his ass. He edged away from Ruki, the one that he had loved for some time, a secret love that he had promised to not let the other know, to not let it ever come between the band. Ruki never approached him after that, never indicating that he even remembered, nothing except those disturbing stares, the stares that had went on for almost a year, nothing until now.

Kai's eyes widened in shock, Ruki reaching up to capture the offending finger that was still jabbed at his chest. Another hand reached up, cupping the back of Kai's head, pulling the other down. Warm lips met slightly colder ones, a kiss that was tender and filled with promise. A promise of perhaps something better to come.

Christmas was indeed when everything happen.