Nostalgia

Sorry

Ruki x Kai

"Sorry"

Ruki turned his face away from the brunette, the apology lingering in the air, heard by both, acknowledged by none. Kai watch the other stare out of the window, no emotions belied by the blank face. It's only when the drummer left the room that Ruki turned away from the window, his eyes now on the closed door.

Kai watched as Ruki's glass was filled again with clear alcohol, downing it quickly before it is filled again. Worry nagged at him although he knows that he probably lost all rights to worry over the other. But then, it was not his nature to let his friends, or even his ex-lover continue on in this self destructive behavior. Decision made, he made his way quickly to the blonde's corner where his fake laughter sounded, a careless arm slung over a scantily dressed woman, his eyes challenging at Kai whom he had caught sight of long ago

"Ruki"
"What?"

The cold scathing tone would probably send someone lesser skulking away with their tails between their legs but then not Kai, not when it's who Ruki involved.

"You should stop drinking already"

The deceptively cool eyes that flickered to his was the only warning Kai had when Ruki poured his glass of alcohol over Kai's shoes, slowly rising his hand, cold alcohol spilling over Kai's hair, him barely closing his eyes in time before the alcohol run down his face. The silence reigned over them minutely before Ruki let the now empty glass fall on the floor, smashing into pieces as he walked away, Kai watching him go.

Pushing his way through the crowd of people, he ignored the curses and yelps as he finally reached the bathroom. As the door closed behind him, the loud music from the club was momentarily softened as Kai stared at his own reflection on the dirty mirror. He let the water run from the tap as he continued staring ahead, noting his own wide eyes, his own pale face staring back at him accusingly. It was probably his own fault, but then, who can ever control the fickle emotion called love?

The door slammed opened as the familiar blonde enter, artificially blue eyes on Kai's own brown ones. Kai flinched as Ruki hugged him from behind suddenly, burying his face into the crook of Kai's neck. He let the other hug him, no words exchanged between them, nothing except one.

"Sorry"

Kai watched Ruki from the mirror, saw the other lift his head, saw the redness of Ruki's eyes, feeling the wetness on his collar, betraying the tears that Ruki had tried to keep concealed from him. Kai turned around slowly, Ruki's arms loosened momentarily to let him move, both of them now chest to chest, eyes on each other. Their close proximity is not something foreign to them, they have been closer than this before, in more intimate positions before. But that was then. And this is now.

"Sorry"

At the sentence, Ruki's arms fell to his sides as he took a step back. He left the bathroom without another word, and Kai could only let him go. Kai knew that there is only place that he can go to now, the only place that he want to be at. Less than half an hour later, the brunette found himself at a closed door, now having second thoughts. Leaning against the wall, he stared at the door woefully, not able to bring himself to knock.

"Kai?"
"Reita"

At the now opened door, the other could only held his arms open as Kai stepped forward, accepting the comfort that was freely offered. Reita held Kai close, knowing what must have happened, what it must have taken for Kai to do it, what it means to Ruki and Kai, and what it would mean to them both now.

They don't have to hide anymore. Not anymore.

"We can't choose who we fall in love with"
"Despite it hurting others?"
"Despite it hurting him"

It would take time. Time for Ruki to accept them, time for him to move on, time for them to be forgiven. But then, when love is involved, there is always someone on the losing end.

That's the double edged sword of love.