serenity | knj

XXIX

It was already getting late and Jungkook didn't come home yet. After I tried to call him a few times, he sent a message that he would meet up with some friends and that I shouldn't wait for him. I was lying around the apartment, bored, and tried to shut my thoughts down. Whenever I tried to concentrate on anything, he came to my mind. I just couldn't stop thinking about him, it was nearly unbearable.

I turned on the TV and skipped through the channels, sighing. Suddenly the doorbell rang and I went to open it, not thinking much about it. My heart dropped when I saw him standing in front of me, smirking. He looked me up and down and just smiled.

"What the fuck are you doing here?", I said quietly.

"I couldn't stop thinking about you."

The things I felt overwhelmed me. I couldn't believe what was happening to me. And I was scared of it.

"You're a stalker. I should really call the cops on you."

Namjoon didn't stop smiling and softly pushed me away while entering. He walked a bit around and looked at everything he saw.

"Namjoon? Could you like, leave?"

He turned around and closed the door, pushing me against it. He came closer and closer until I could feel his breath on my neck. Never in my life, I wanted someone as much as at that moment.

"Where's your boyfriend?", Namjoon whispered and made me shiver.

Standing there with him so close to me almost let me forget how wrong all of it was. How I was lying to Jungkook again. Namjoon noticed me getting uncomfortable and seemed to enjoy it.

"You're so pretty without makeup.", he said and stroked my cheek.

I finally pushed him away from me and looked at him angrily.

"You shouldn't be here."

Namjoon reached for my hand and held it tightly. I couldn't bear to look into his eyes.

"Why do you try to avoid me? I know you don't love him. Why do you lie to yourself?"

His words hit me into a painful spot I always tried to forget.

"Jandi, look at me."

The tone in his voice sounded hurt, and I couldn't understand how someone could care about me as much as he did.

"Say that you don't like me and I'll leave you alone."

My eyes teared up and I hated myself for being so weak. It reminded me of all the times I was too weak to speak up. All the times I got hurt because I couldn't open my mouth.

"Jandi? Are you okay?"

The words he spoke seemed to be so far away. I couldn't move my body. All I felt was my fast heartbeat and tears slowly streaming down my face. My view got blurry and it got so loud inside my head.

Until everything went completely black.