serenity | knj

XXXIX

Jungkook's POV

I gently moved away the black strands of hair that were sticking to Yoongi's forehead. He was lying in my arms with his eyes closed and breathed slowly.

He is so beautiful.

Ever since the first time Yoongi was sleeping next to me, I wanted to be with no one else ever again. He made me feel things I never felt before.

I never thought that I could be into men until that night Yoongi hit on me. He looked so cool and his gummy smile made my heart beat fast. I was scared of my feelings and I was so drunk, I said things I shouldn't have said to him.

I deserved the punch to the face. And when I met with Yoongi to apologize to him, and all he did was smirking and shyly looking at his feet, it felt like another punch hit me. I just couldn't let him go before asking him out.

"Aren't you straight?", he asked and chuckled.

I didn't answer him, just stared into his eyes.

"You have a girlfriend, Jungkook."

This time his voice was more serious, deep. I melted away and all I wanted was to be with him.

His gummy smile came back and when I brought him home with me, I found Jandi's note on her bed.

I felt so relieved. Yes, I loved her. I loved her more than anything. But it wasn't the kind of love I pretended it to be, I wished it to be.

I told her I loved her that night because I was scared of the feelings I felt for a man. And at first, I believed it. I believed I love her. I lied to her, I lied to myself. But I knew she lied to me too.

She thought I never saw her with another man, but I did. And I saw the way she looked at him. The way he looked at her.

"What are you thinking about, baby?"

Yoongi's raspy voice got me back into reality. His eyes were still half closed and a little pout was forming on his lips.

"About you.", I whispered and placed a kiss on his forehead.

"Isn't Jandi coming home soon?"

Yoongi closed his eyes again and wrapped his arm around me.

I gently caressed his cheek that began to slowly turn into a pink color.

"No, she wrote me that she will come home tomorrow."

Yoongi's eyes suddenly widened and he just stared at me.

"What's wrong?", I asked.

He quickly looked away, snuggling himself into my chest and mumbling "Nothing."

"Tell me."

I started tickling Yoongi's side as he tried not to show any reaction.

"I can't tell you.", he whispered and moved on top of me, kissing my neck.

I breathed heavily and dug my fingers into his bare back.

"Tell me, baby."

I felt the deep sigh Yoongi let out as he placed his head back on my chest.

"She was with Namjoon earlier. I guess she's staying with him tonight.", Yoongi said quietly and had a hard time telling me.

I began chuckling and pulled him even closer to me.

"Do you think I'm going to be upset about her cheating on me when I'm lying in my bed with a man right now?", I said and had to laugh about the irony.

Yoongi looked up to me and his dark eyes made my heart stop for a second.

"I thought you love her."

His voice sounded heartbreaking and I could sense the pain in his words.

"I love you, Yoongi. No one, but you."