The start

The Cost

A day went by nothing happened. Tara and I were still good. However I knew Daryl felt different. I knew he fell in hatred towards Dwight. But Dwight only saved us. Once the savior's knew that we were wounded that was that. There wasn't any need to come and kill us. There wasn't any need to attack us anymore. They had thought Dwight was with the plan. That he infected us.

Daryl gets up from the bed as I roll around to face him. He got dressed and put his coat on.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"Out. Need meds and food." He said shortly. No emotion.

"Whats wrong?" I asked. He seemed annoyed.

"Nothin. Get some sleep. I'll be back in a few hours." Daryl walks around the bed as he bends down to kiss me. I meet him half way pressing my lips to his. His beard rubs against my chin as I pull back. He walks out the door as I hear his boots go down the stairs, I stare at the ceiling. What is wrong with me? There has to be something wrong with me for him to go back to no emotions and hiding everything from me.

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Bright lights and restraints. The unbearable feeling of being over powered was killing me. The light was giving me a headache. It was as if my own heartbeat thumping was my headache increasing. The the restraints were irritating my wrist. I could feel the uncomfortable pressure in my ankles from the belt. What was it that they want from me? Why is it that they just can't let me go? Was it the fact that Daryl escaped and now they have to kill me before I do it. I'm completely harmless. I wish it was that easy. The aching up my stomach gurgles. When was the last time I ate? Not too long ago I was eating a sandwhich. But who knows how long ago that was. Two days, maybe 12 hours. Possibly a few weeks. Who knew what time period it was. Day or night. Summer or winter. Were the flowers blooming? How about the leaves? Were they falling to beautiful autumn colors. Many colors like a rainbow. Or how about shapes. Stars. Triangles.

At this point I was hallucinating. I tried to slow down my breathing. Keep myself from shaking causing the restraints to cut into my skin. Breathe in. Breathe out. Count to 10. Sing my ABCs. Hum a happy tune. Memories were fadding into thin air and then my eyes shut. Complete darkness. Sweet silence filled my ears. all I could do was give in. How tired I was of fighting. I knew I had to keep going. To live and survive. for myself. For Daryl. I never knew staying alive was this hard.

"Ready for your treatment again?" A strong male voice echoed the white room. Negan revealed himself as a breeze follows after. It gave me chills. Not the breeze but his appearance. It frightened me. I was shook to the core.

"Treatment?" My raspy voice uttered as I tried to sit up but there was a restraint agaimst my forehead. My throat was raw. The need for water was aching.

"Of course. Electroshock therapy treatment. It will help your mind. Maybe calm you down. I believe this will be a benift to and for you." Negan smirked. It was deja vu all over again. I've heard those words. Doctor Carson puts his gloves and smock on. I could feel myself tearing up.

"Please. No." I started to remember.

"You need it, Harls. Trust me. Your memories are fucking nightmares. Most likely terrorizing you day in and day out. You can't sleep right or eat." Negan hummed.

"Please stop! I don't want this." I screamed. I tried to thrash around as they bring in the familiar machine. They put the headset on me and then the mouth mould.

"Don't want to ruin those pearly whites, now would we?" Carson joked as Negan lets out a chuckle.

"Please don't do this, please." I cried. I could feel the saliva building up. I'll choke by the end of this.

"Ready when you are." Carson steps back. He coughs uncomfortable trying to avoid eye contact.

"Lets give it a 10, shall we?" Negan sighs happily.

"1, 2 and,"

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I woke up screaming. Screaming for Daryl. But Daryl didnt come.