Katana's Revenge

My New Home For Now

Song: I found myself by Anna Clendening

I wake up to bright lights around me. The familiar beeping of machines ring in my ears and I realize I'm in the freaking hospital again. He must have found me in time. Dammit I can't do anything right. I look down and my wrists are bandaged up. I have an IV in my left arm and I go to pull it out. The alarm starts going off on the damn thing. You got to be kidding me.

The door swings open and a nurse comes rushing in. "Oh I wouldn't do that."

"I want to go home. I don't belong here." I spat at her, struggling to get out of the damn bed.

"Katana, I understand but you have to wait till the doctor clears you to go."

"Are you kidding me, then go get him. I want to go home."

So this nurse is not stupid because she calls from my room by pushing the little red button by the bed. "Yes...this is Becky, can you get Doctor Stevens in here, ASAP."

When the door opens again the doctor comes strolling in with a smile, my dad is right behind him and he is not smiling at all. "So how are you feeling, Katana?"

"I'm fine!" I sat a little rudely. "I want to go home."

"It's not that simple," he looks at the chart and back up at me.

"Why not? I'm freaking fine; I want to go home...NOW!!!" I demand.

My dad comes over closer to the bed. His hand finds it's way to my side.  "Katana, you tried to kill yourself. You are not fine. We are going to get you the best help that you need."

"I don't need help." I look at him crossly. "I need to go home."

He turns to look at the doctor. "Can you please excuse me for a minute while I talk with my daughter?"

"Yes sir, just hit the red button if you need anything."

"Thanks." He waits till they all leave and then he comes back over to the bed. "You were lucky that I found you in time. Baby why can't you just talk to me?"

"There is nothing to talk about." I look away. I fight back the tears that are dying to get out.

He holds up the note that I left him. "Really...then why did you write this?" He holds up my hand written letter.

I shake my head no and one tear escapes.

"Katana, I want to help you. I do but you have got to meet me half way here."

I don't say anything because I am trying so hard to hold in the tears and now several start to escape. "Katana...please."

"Dad...you can't help me...no one can. Just drop it."

"I will not drop it. Dammit...do you want to die that bad? Do you want to leave me too?"

"This isn't about you and...and...I'm sorry for everything. Please can we just go home?"

"Sweetheart, I want to take you home but it's not that simple. You need help."

"So send me to the freaking Academy. Go ahead get rid of me. What difference does it make. You don't want me at home and you don't want me to die...what do you want from me!" I yell at him and then wipe the damn tears from my cheek.

He gets up really close to me and grabs my hand. "I want you to get better. This is not like you."

"What does that even mean," I exhale. "Hell you don't even know me?"

"I know you more than you think. I know you are caving inside and if I don't get you the right help you are going to die. I told you before, I'm not planning on you dying."