Katana's Revenge

I'm Not Ok

Song: You don't know by Katelyn Tarver

My dad has orders for no one to visit me while I'm in the hospital. He says it's to protect me. I'm not sure it's me or him that really needs the protection. I mean if anyone was to visit it would be Jake or the cheer squad but honestly I don't really want to see either one of them anyway.

What was done to me was done to me, it's not like the whole town doesn't know by now. I'm sure I am the talk of the school, hell the whole town for that matter.

This week I should be at school doing exams but instead I lay here in this damn bed recovering from the worst nightmare possible. Ok it could have been worse I guess; I could have died but here I am living with the pain. I don't know which is worse.

It's Tuesday and I am still here. I just want to go home because there is absolutely nothing to do her beside watch the TV that happens to play nothing worth watching. I don't even have my phone, I'm sure it got left at Mr. Harper's house. Not unless my dad has it but even if he does it is probably at the station being used as some kind of evidence or something. I'm about to doze back off when my dad stops during his lunch break.

"How's my girl today?" he says as he walk in avoiding eye contact with me as he walks over to look out the window.

I don't say anything. I look out the window instead to see what is so important out there. But from where I am I can't see anything and I'm pretty sure he doesn't see anything either.

"I went by the school and talked to all your teachers. Your grades are really good and you haven't missed any classes so you are exempt from all your mid-term exams....guess that's good uh?"

I don't even look his way. He walks over and pulls the covers up over me and glances up for a split second. He hands me a Sprite. "I brought you this oh and here is a Snickers bar." He lays it on the little table by the bed. "I know how much you like them." He waits for me to take it but I don't. "Katana you can't ignore me forever...what can I do? Tell me what do you want? Give it time this too shall pass it will be ok."

Wait...who is ignoring who here; he barely even looked at me when he walked in and even now he keeps trying to avoid me. And it's not going to just pass...there is no fixing this. "I want to go home," I sigh.

"I want you to be at home too. I will go ask the doctor see what we can do alright...in the meantime here." He hands me the candy bar. Like that is supposed to make all this better. I know he means well but it's not working. At this point in time nothing can make this better.

And the sad thing is when he does come back he says I have to wait until tomorrow. So now I am here all night flipping through the stupid channels and then toss and turn most of the night because I can't sleep.

The next day I get to go home. My dad runs around the house like crazy. He is trying to make sure I have everything I need. "I have to go back to work. Do you want Grams to come by to check on you?"

I shake my head no.

"Ok...I should be back around five, just try to rest alright." He goes to hug me but then stops. He rubs his hand down the upper part of my arm and gives me a tender smile. "If you need me call me alright and...and...don't answer the door for no one got it."

"OK." I tell him and watch him leave. He comes back in and locks the door and then goes back out. I go to my room and climb in my bed, bringing the covers over me to cry.

I can't get it out of my head. Every time I close my eyes I see Mr. Harper. I see Anthony. My head hurts. I drift off to sleep and somehow I am back in that house and I am fighting him all over again.

All of it seems so real. Like I can actually smell the stench of the house, not to mention other odors that I can't explain. I see pictures and other things hanging on the walls. I see football trophies on a nearby shelf apparently they were Anthony's. The whole house was a mess and even this room there is clothes piled up here and there not to mention piles and piles of trash. I am being strangled...leather wraps around my throat. I gasp for air...I can't breathe. I scream out for dear life and I feel arms around me, grasping me tightly.

"Katana wake up. Katana, honey...wake up." I hear my name being called out. He jolts me hard and I open my eyes to see my dad staring back at me. "Hey, you're alright; I'm here. No one is hurting you now. I got you. It's going to be ok. " He pulls me into his chest and I cry. I let it all out. When I am almost done crying he gets up and does into the kitchen to cook super.

Sheriff Harlow:

I try to spend my time with her but I just don't know what to say to her. I wish her mom was here because she would know what to do, what to say. I just wished this never happened to her; I wish I could take the pain away. I try to make sure I stop by to see her but most of my time is spent at work. I would say that I am trying to get all of this off of my mind but it's kind of hard when he is sitting in the cell not too far away from me. I wish I could go in there and beat the shit out of him.

Unfortunately I will have to wait for the judge to decide what to do about him. In the meantime I try not to go in the other block. I know he will say something out of line and I will lose my cool with him and then I will be the one behind the damn bars.

On my lunch break I swing by to see her...well I try to look at her. I hate seeing her all bruised up that way. I can only imagine how much pain she is going through. I want to be able to talk to her but I can't seem to find the right words. Instead I hand her, her favorite candy bar and a bottle of Sprite. Of course she doesn't take it. She is so quiet and I have no clue how to help her. So when she ask to go home I am all for it.

I hate that I have to work. I have to leave her home all by herself. "I have to go back to work. Do you want Grams to come by to check on you?" If it was up to me which it should be I would have my mom over here watching over her every little move but I know she will hate me for that so I won't burden her with that.

She shakes her head no.

"Ok...I should be back around five, just try to rest alright."I walk closer to her and I think about hugging her but something inside of me tells me not to so I rub her arm and smile at her, hoping she will be alright. "If you need me call me alright and...and...don't answer the door for no one got it."

Of course she just says, "OK." I walk out but then remembered that I forgot to lock the door. So I have to go back in to lock it.

I spend the rest of the day on the road. My mind is elsewhere, not where it should be. I park my patrol car on the side of the road and wait to catch someone speeding or not wearing their seatbelt. I try to not think about all the other things on my mind. When my shift is up, I go home to find her screaming in her bedroom scaring the holy shit out of me. I just know that someone is hurting her.

When I get to the room she is sleeping, having a nightmare. I try to be easy with her but she is still yelling. So I shake her hard enough that she wakes up "Hey...you're alright...I'm here. No one is hurting you now...I got you. It's going to be ok." I pull her into me and hold her for a little while.

I want to tell her everything is going to be alright but I feel that is a lie. I feel that no matter what I say to her it wouldn't make a bit of difference. That freaking bastard did this to my daughter and it's going to take a while to fix this, if that is even possible.