Katana's Revenge

What Friends?

Song: Never going to be the same By Jessica Mauboy

After Christmas break I go back to school. Only because my dad is making me go. Just walking down the hallway makes me want to vomit. I hear everyone with their loud ass mouths talking about me, whispering. They all know what happened.

I stand by my locker and look up to see Anthony walking down the hallway. He glances up to make eye contact with me for a split second and all the color drains from his cheeks. The hallway goes eerily quiet. People look at him and then back at me waiting to see if either one of us says anything.

I decide to turn back around and pretend to dig for another book for my class. When I turn back around he is gone and everyone is talking in hush voices again.

I nearly jump out of my skin when Jake comes up behind me, wrapping his arms around me. "Hey babe, you want me to carry your books for you." Really he is here now, go away. I so what this to be over between us. It's not that I don't care about him but I feel that this is just not going to work anymore. I am not a piece of ass.

"I got it." I shrug him off of me.

"Are you still pissed off from the other night? You haven't talked to me for several days now. You're avoiding my calls...my text. Dammit I'm sorry I was drunk alright it won't happen again," he says it a little loud and a few people close to us stop to watch all this unfold.

"Still doesn't give you the right to try to put your hands where they don't belong." I try to avoid looking back at him.

"We fool around all the time...don't act like you don't like it." He places his arm around my shoulder pulling me into him.

"Yeah, well I don't. Please get your hands off of me." I step back from him just enough for his arm to fall from me.

"What the hell Ana." He backs away and not only looks hurt by my reaction but pissed off.

I look around the hall and it's like everyone is watching now. Tears form in my eyes. I'm so done with this. "I can't deal with this right now."

"You can't deal with this, me, are you dumping me?"

"Yes! Jake...I need time to think about things." I mean hell it's not like just the other day he walked out of my house saying the same damn thing.

"If you break up with me we are over for good, believe me there are many girls here that have been dying to be with me."

"Yay for them...now get out of my way." I slam my locker door and walk off.

He yells after me for the whole school to hear, "Ana...you're making a huge mistake here."

But I don't stop, I ignore his ass as I walk to class. All day everyone talks about us breaking up and if it's not that, it's hushed whispers and what happened with Anthony's dad and I. At lunch Sara and Bethany sit at the table with me and then a few of the other girls from the squad.

"Oh my God! I can't believe you broke up with Jake, Ana what the hell?" says Sara.

"I heard he was already asking Emily out," says Bethany. I roll my eyes in disbelief. Emily is another girl on the cheer squad. She's a tad shorter than me and a little bigger. She is nothing like me. They all start gossiping as if I'm not even at the table.

I want to yell at them. Tell them to just shut up but instead I stand up quietly walk off. I hear them all yelling after me to come back but I just can't deal with this today.

At the end of the school day we have cheer practice. I debate whether I want to go or not. It takes everything in me to walk into the gym. I notice Emily right off and soon as she sees me she stops smiling.

"Ana you are not even dressed," says Bethany. I look down and I have on my jeans and a long sleeve shirt. I don't plan on getting dressed. "Hurry up we already started warm ups."

"I...I'm not staying."

"What...you have to you're the captain." She places her hands on her hips.

I shake my head no. I put my duffle bag down on the bleachers. Inside contains one of my suits and my pom-poms. The other suit was destroyed by Mr. Harper. I have no desire to ever put it on again. Just looking at it brings back bad memories. She looks at me like I got to be joking.

"Ana, what is this? What are you doing?"

The rest of the squad comes over. "What is going on?" says Sara.

"I'm quitting the squad." I tell all of them.

"What? I don't think so; you can't just quit on us?" Sara stares me down.

"I'm afraid I just did." I turn to walk out of the gym.

"What the fuck Ana? You can't quit on us in the middle of the year. HELLO!!!" Sara screams loudly at me. When I turn the whole squad is staring me down.

I turn and walk back over to her. I get so close all up in her face. "It's Ka-tana...not Ana...get it right. And if I remember correctly you all gave up on me; you left me behind first don't ever forget that."

"Yeah, well you should have never gone in there." She points her finger in my face.

So I point my finger back at her almost touching her. "And you should have gone in with me...a team sticks together. All of you should have came with me or at least been there for me but not one of you waited for me; you all left me there to die."

A tear escapes and slowly slides down her cheek. She quickly wipes it away. "We never thought that would have happened to you; we are truly sorry."

"Kinda of late now." I don't have it in me to say anything else. I am about to cry myself and I be damned if I give one of them the satisfaction of it, so instead I turn and run out of the gym. I run all the way to my car.

When I get there I fumble for my keys and drop them. They roll under my car. Seriously I just need to get home. I don't need this shit right now. I squat down to look under my car for the keys and they are out of my reach. You got to be kidding me. I hear a group of guys walking by and I guess they see me trying to get my keys.

"Hey...you need some help."

"No!" I yell at him. Then huff, "Yes...I dropped my keys and I can't reach them." I look up and four sets of eyes are looking down at me. I wipe my tears from where I was so upset with everything that is going on. Why do I feel intimidated all of a sudden? I have never felt this way before but after Anthony's house my thoughts are haywire. I just don't trust anyone.

"Here let me see if I can get them." The taller boy says. He leans down to look under the car. "How in the...how did you manage that? I think I can get them."

I stand back up and lean against the car, while he slides under my car just enough to retrieve my keys. He comes back up smiling. "Here you go." When he hands them back to me his hand touches mine and I back away from him. It's not that I don't want him touching me, hell I don't want anyone touching me. Will I ever get over this; will I ever let anyone get close to me again?

I try to smile back at him. "Thanks."

"No problem." He starts to walk away and then stops to look back at me. "Heard about you and Jake, if you ever want to go out sometime let me know."

"Uhm...uhm...thanks...but it may be awhile before I date anyone," I say truthfully.

"Well when you are ready look me up alright." He smiles and walks off with his friends.

I guess I should say 'of course', 'sure',  'why not'. But instead I just get in my car, locking the door as I watch the four of them walk off. I drive, I have no clue where the hell I am going and a part of me just doesn't care.

I should be at home but I'm not instead I find myself at the lake. I get out and walk down to the water. I want to jump in and sink to the bottom, to drown out all my thoughts but I can't get up the freaking nerve so I just sit down on the edge of the peer. I watch as the sun goes down and the stars start to come out. I see lights come up behind me and I hear the door open and close. I don't bother looking behind me to see who is walking I already know that it is my dad.