𝕓𝕖𝕥𝕥𝕖𝕣 . - J.Mz & B.Hd

20. Mixed signals.

Joe felt as if a whole new world opened for him. Him finally accepting the feelings he has been holding in for so long really brought him joy. The only thing he was thinking about was: 

How the fuck am I gonna tell him?

-

" And how is it? " Rami asked walking up to Joe who was currently in the library studying. " How is what? " He asked looking up at the boy smiling at him. " Finally accepting your feelings? " Joe smiled shyly looking down again fiddling with his pencil. " Oh you know.. " He said trying to stop himself from smiling. " No, please explain. " Rami teased sitting down. He had to admit that after all of those problems and crying session he was glad to see his friend being this happy. " It feels like I can fucking breathe again. " Joe said over exaggerating making Rami laugh. " It feels so nice and comfortable like now I can just let my thoughts float through my head and not even pushing away. Guess what I'm thinking about now?! " He asked still smiling widely. " I don't know- " Rami said but Joe cut him off and he didn't even care at this point. " About us holding hands. " He said as he looked like he was floating on a cloud. 

Rami wanted to respond to that but their conversation got cut off by someone clearing his throat. " Oh no continue. " Ben said shaking his head. " How long have you been standing there? " Joe asked in horror because he was currently about to run away and never come back if Ben might've heard about Joe being ' Inlove '. " Long enough to hear you wanted to hold hands. " Ben said and Joe was already packing his stuff. " Ben- " Rami started but he got cut off. " With Rami. " Ben finished. " What? " Joe asked dumbfounded looking at his bestfriend. " I mean you two could hold hands you know. I'd like to see it. " Ben said leaning against the bookshelf. " No we d- " Joe began but Rami started talking. " No Joe. The man wants to see us hold hands doesn't he? " Rami asked looking up loving the way Ben was currently clenching his jaw out of raging jealousy. " Then let's hold hands. " Rami said moving a seat next to the boy and grabbing his hand. 

" What are you doing? " Joe asked quietly. " Just wait. " Rami answered and so Joe did. Ben was looking at the two holding ' hands ' as they got told. " You're not doing it right. " Ben suddenly said having the other two boys still staring dumbly at him. " Then how do you do it right? " Rami asked. Ben didn't hesitate for a minute before walking towards them and sitting next to Joe. " Like this. " He said as he grabbed Joe's other hand linking their fingers together. The difference between the two holding Joe's hand was that only one was intertwining their fingers. Joe sat in the middle of the two feeling slightly uncomfortable and attacked. Rami liked the way Ben was being jealous and how Joe was too blind to see all of this. 

" Hey guys did you know that Moby Dick was actuall- " Gwil stopped looking at the 3 boys holding hands. " Okay can I ask why the fuck y'all are holding hands? " He asked and Rami let go of Joe's hand being the only one noticing Ben smiling in victory. " Ben said I wasn't holding Joe's hand correctly. Thank you for teaching. " Rami said smiling kindly to the blonde which he responded with raising his hand still holding Joe's. " No problem. " 

" Well.. " Gwil trailed off. " Okay. " He said as he looked at Joe and Ben. " Anyways what do you guys rather have? A dinosaur as pet or a unicorn? " It was funny how they all acted like nothing was off because Joe was sure he could pass out any moment. Knowing that he has a crush on his best friend who was currently holding his hand tightly had him feeling more than he normally felt. Joe turned his head looking up at Rami.  " Please help. " He mouthed with Rami answering. " No. " as he smiled and continued listening to the other two boys talking about dumb things. Joe looked at his hand and when Ben slowly pulled away he got relieved because his hands were starting to get a little bit sweaty but soon after he let go of Joe's hand he let his hand rest ontop of his while linking his fingers through Joe's. It was clear that Ben didn't even care since he just continued to talk but Joe could positively say that he was dying.

" I- I gotta go. " Joe said as he suddenly pulled back his hand. " What? Where? " Ben asked looking at the boy grabbing his backpack. " Just ehm- Going to feed my goldfish. " Joe said as he already started walking away. " You don't even have a goldfish? " Ben responded. " Well time to buy one then. " Joe said not looking behind him while walking away. " Why is he being so weird? " Gwil asked. " Probably his gay hormones or something. " Ben shrugged. " Where are yours then? " Gwil joked laughing at his own joke. " Shut up. " Ben scoffed feeling kind of down that Joe left so sudden. 

-

2 Weeks have now past of Joe still having a crush on his bestfriend that grew everyday more and more. Joe could say he was glad with himself accepting it and luckily having someone to talk about it but oh how he hated the awkward situations and they didn't come from Ben it was always Joe that panicked at the smallest things.

" This is getting out of hand Joe you two are best friends for god sake, you can talk to him. " Rami said sitting infront of the boy. " I know, It's just that everything is so different you know I feel like a whole cartoon character having my eyes morphing into fucking hearts everytime he's near me. " Joe sighed out clearly annoyed by himself. " Awh that's cu- " 

" Please, don't. " Joe stopped him raising his one hand. " Sorry. " He apologized. " Well then I don't know. It's been two weeks now shouldn't you be comfortable now with your own crush? " Joe looked around paranoid. " Say it a little bit louder fucking China didn't hear you. " Rami opened his mouth at that inhaling deeply. " NO I SWEAR TO GOD. " Joe said throwing his textbook at him. Rami only laughed in response. " Damn, you really like him huh? " He asked seeing the boy blushing madly. " Well, yeah obviously.. " Joe said shyly looking down with a small smile plastered on his face.

" Hey guys guess what?! " Lucy asked scaring the two and especially Joe. " I have tickets for Toy Story 3! " She said happily holding the tickets in her hand. " Ben and Gwil are coming too, please.. " She said and Joe was about to decline but he got kicked against his shin underneath the table. " Yes we will go. " Rami said smiling up to Lucy. " Thank you, thank you, thank you. " She said walking up to the boy and hugging him.  " Yeah no problem. " Rami said voice going really high. Joe could be blind sometimes but he sure saw what was happening infront of him. He grinned while leaning back and when Lucy left Rami grew quiet. " You like her don't y- "

" Shut up. "

hello 😔💓 just wanted to say tysm for all the love and support. 💞