𝕓𝕖𝕥𝕥𝕖𝕣 . - J.Mz & B.Hd

23. Ruin my life.

Days passed and Joe could gladly say that things were starting to work out. Even though his heart still ached whenever he saw Ben it still was going fine. It wasn't like they stopped talking to Ben because he would still tag along when he had the time but oh boy how everyone would be fake to one another. Joe didn't need to ask his friend what he was doing in his mean time since he already knew the answer which was: Fucking nearly everything that has a vagina. 

Ben didn't turn his back to Joe, well kind off. But besides that he was fucking almost every girl on their school he still acted kindly towards Joe, Rami, Gwil and Lucy. Joe was disgusted knowing that his friend turned into someone that he never knew. 

" He's gonna catch diseases if he keeps going like that. " Lucy said glaring sideways at the boy talking to a girl. " Maybe he's holding a record? " Gwil asked making them laugh. " Hey what did I miss? " Ben asked joining them sitting down next to Joe. It was not as if it was purposely done, it was only because there was one seat available and that happened to be next to Joe. " Oh nothing, hey who was that? " Lucy asked leaning in eating her fries. " Huh? Oh. I don't know, forgot her name. " Ben brushed off grabbing a fry not noticing Lucy rolling her eyes. " Of course. " Rami murmured looking away. " Hey, there is this party at Jenny's house friday I thought we all could have some fun you know? " Ben asked and Rami just scoffed. " Well, I don't know who ' Jenny ' is. " Gwil spoke up. " Yeah and I don't like going to parties.. " Joe said quietly leaning his head on his hand. " Oh come on, it would be like how it used.. " Ben trailed off knowing what he would say might make Joe sad. " We could also go to the movies? " Gwil asked trying to cut off the awkward silence.

" Lucy didn't you have tickets for Toy story? " The taller asked looking at the girl munching on fries. " I already watched it with Joe. " She said. " Awh man! Why?! I thought we would go together! " Gwil said disappointed. Joe was listening to their conversation but their voices slowly faded when he felt something touch his hand. He looked down where he put it down, on his seat. He saw Ben's fingers slowly go towards his and he got to admit that he never thought he would miss a feeling this bad. The tingling feeling he got when Ben's hand slowly covered his hand letting it rest ontop made Joe's stomach do somersaults. He hated that he didn't even pull away or tell the boy to stop, no instead Joe continued resting his head on his other hand and catching up with the conversation still having his hand held by the boy next to him. 

" Oh and guess what?! " Lucy suddenly asked in a highpitched voice making Rami and Gwil flinch. " Joe met someone while we were watching Toy Story! " She said making Joe snap out of his gaze. " O-oh it's really not th- " Joe began blushing. " No shut up! Let me tell! " She said leaning in to tell the other boys and apparently at the mention of Joe meeting someone else stopped Ben. He realized that Joe might've move on. Joe felt the tingling feeling go away when the warm spot above his hand disappeared. Joe looked down at his hand to only see Ben slowly pull his own back. 

" Right Joe?! " Lucy asked making Joe snap his head back up. " What? Yeah. " He said. " Okay then I'm going to tell him that he can text you tonight! " What? Joe's eyes widened. " W-what? " He asked. But Lucy was already talking to the others. Joe looked down again. Maybe it's indeed better, he told himself. He had too move on, because why would he wait for a train that would never come? 

" I actually gotta go. " Joe said interrupting the conversation. " What? Why? " Rami asked. " I have things to do. " Joe said awkwardly because he felt Ben staring at him. " Ooh with David? " Lucy asked making Joe blush madly. " N-no. " He said as he stood up from his seat. " Well I gotta g- " Joe began but got cut off. " Wait I'll walk with you. " Ben said looking at him. The table turned silent looking at the two. " O-okay. " Joe said inhaling deeply. " Bye guys. " He said waving goodbye as he walked out of the Cafe with Ben. 

" What was that?! " Lucy yelled making Gwil cringe at the sound. " I don't know. " Rami shrugged looking at the two boys walking away and disappearing behind a wall. " Should we go after them? " Lucy asked. " Should we just not? " Gwil responded making Lucy roll her eyes. " Boring old man. " She said get eating her last fry. " I AM 24! " Gwil weakly protested.

-

" So.. " Ben said after a while of them just walking to their apartments in silent. " David huh. " Joe let out a sigh. " Yeah. " He could ask him so many things, ' Hey how is life? ', ' Hey sorry that I don't talk to you that much but wanna hang out? ' or ' I saw that lately you've been feeling like shit, can I help you? ' No instead he asks Joe about a boy he met at the Cinema. " Are you two like, together? " Joe rolled his eyes. " Not yet. " WHY did he say that?! Joe could slap himself right now, why couldn't he just say: ' No, we aren't together. ' And just leave it there?! " Oh.. " Ben trailed off. " How is it with you and uhm.. " Joe had to think which girl it was since Ben had many other girls. " Amy? " He finished just picking a name. " Oh, yeah. It's going great. " The blonde answered. Joe nodded slowly while pursing his lips. 

' This is SHIT. Why did he wanted to walk with me? Couldn't he just walk at the otherside of the fucking sidewalk?! ' Joe asked himself looking around him to make himself seem less stiff but stopping when his head turned to Ben seeing the boy staring at him. " What? " Joe asked. " Nothing. " 

Joe could finally call it a day and lock himself up since they arrived at his apartment door however he did not know why Ben had to come with him even though his own apartment isn't that far away from his. " Well.. " Joe trailed off sighing deeply. " Bye. " He said as he closed the door infront of Ben. He didn't actually feel bad at all because why would he? If Ben didn't feel bad for putting him through all of this then Joe didn't have to feel bad for closing a door infront of him. Joe stopped walking further, there was something wrong. It didn't feel right and he hated himself for being so weak. He sighed letting his head fall down and turned around walking towards the door again opening it to only see Ben still standing on the exact same spot.

" Do you want to come in? " joe asked really wanting to punch himself. " I mean if you want to- " Ben started but quickly walked inside. It was weird for both of them since they didn't hangout for a whole week. Joe only hoped that someone could burst inside his apartment and take him so he didn't have to be in this awkward situation anymore.

hello guys haha i just couldnt leave yall with the last chapter bc that shit was intense !! 🥵😰 anyways im so glad yall enjoy this story it really means alot to me 🤭😪