Messy without a Doubt

Sorry

Naruto turned around and got off Sasuke he sat on the floor and looked at his black haired boyfriend.

"I'm sorry" Naruto whispered. "I didn't used to be like this, I was loud and happy. I never cared what people thought."
Naruto looked up at Sasuke who was listening to him with a frown.
"But now, I can't stop it. I did this to myself"

Naruto looked down at the floor, he was so loud he was so happy all the time. He laughed out loud so loud it made people angry. He never cared because that was how he laughed.

Loudly.

Naruto was his mother's clone but he had his dads looks and ideas. His mother was loud she was happy she didn't care.

Why did he change so much? Why did he put himself in this small box of self loathing and not make any effort to escape.

Why can't he just smile like he used to? Why can't he laugh so loud people glare at him?
Why can't he just, go back?

"I made a mistake" Naruto whispered to no one but himself.

Naruto met Sasuke and he never had any good conversations with him but he felt a connection. He wanted to be with Sasuke, he was in the hospital so much because of concussions but Sasuke was with him.

Naruto had said goodbye to his best friend without even opening his mouth and telling Gaara that he didn't want to say goodbye.

It wasn't fair. And yet all of these things, the school beatings, the friendships he lost, the home life he had. It made him do what he did.

But now. He regrets it, if he didn't try and run, if he just stayed at called Gaara, if he told Gaara how he felt they would be friends.

If he just told Sasuke from the beginning if he did something different, then perhaps Sasuke wouldn't have to help him stop crying every day.

If he just tried harder to talk to his grandmother, maybe she would've listened.

Maybe he wouldn't have tried to kill himself.

Maybe he wouldn't be sitting on the bathroom floor crying his eyes out because he somehow subconsciously put himself in this spot.

"I made a mistake." Naruto lifted his head, Naruto looked Sasuke dead in the eyes

"What's the matter?" Sasuke asked.

"I shouldn't have tried to kill myself. I could have died, I wouldn't have gotten to be with you. To meet these new people."

Sasuke nodded his head listening to Naruto, he felt like he shouldn't say anything because even though Naruto is looking at him. It looks like Naruto is only talking to himself.

"I should be grateful I got this second chance." Naruto moved closer and grabbed Sasukes hands he gripped them tightly, "I'm grateful for you. I'm grateful for my grandma. For, for this life I get to live."

Naruto stood up and dragged Sasuke up with him, "I've said it many times, but I just I want to try. I want to be someone who really does make a difference in this world."

Naruto wrapped his arms around Sasukes chest and snuggled his face into his shirt. "Thank you, grandma." Naruto whispered. To himself, so quiet not even Sasuke heard.

It wasn't a thank you for Sasuke anyway, the first person to hear it should be his grandma.

—

Naruto walked down the hall and made a right he spotted familiar short black hair walking up towards the roof. He was without a doubt going to follow him.