-Maine-
It started raining right after we left the cinema and both of us are not in the mood anymore so we just took some take out foods and went his my pad dahil mas malapit.
" Kuha kalang ng damit sa closet, use the bathroom sa kwarto if you want to change ah, dito nalang ako sa kabila magshower."
" Sure, thanks! Go na, I can manage."
Ngayon lang ako ulit nakapasok sa kwarto ni Rj. It is still meticulously cleaned. Wala padin pinagbago except for the added crib beside the queen bed and a changing table in one corner for Yyo and Yyo's stuff. As I was scanning the whole room, nahagip ng mata ko ang mga picture frame na naka-hang sa taas ng changing table. They were pictures of Rj and Nia. There were three. The first one was at the beach front bar, they look like drunk but both smiking brigthly. The second one was Rj holding up a sonogram picture crying while Nia is smiling brightly looking at him, it was a candid shot. And the last one was their wedding picture, sunrise is their background.
While I was staring at the photos, I wonder if I can make Rj smile like how Nia did.
I shook my head and went to the walk-in closet. Everything is still the same sans the lone closet door at the end corner.And when I open it, there were dresses hanging and some more clothes neatly folded and arrange. They were Nia's. Kaagad kong sinara iyon at binuksan ang kay Rj. I took some clothes for change and went to shower .
I felt a punch in my heart when I realized how his room is filled with Nia's mark. Will he ever move on?
After 30 minutes, magkatabi kaming nakaupo sa couch habang kumakain at nanonood ng random movie sa cable. We were silent and both lost on our own thoughts.
" Menggay.."
" Hmm?"
" Sorry I snapped out kanina."
" Its okay. Im glad you did. He's being desperate really. Minsan nakakatakot na."
" Are you still, ahm.. Seeing him?"
" What do you mean by seeing?"
" I mean, nakikipagkita sa kanya wheb he ask."
" I did thrice I think. And Im telling him the same things. Hindi nakikinig eh. The fourth one nag decline nako. "
" Im glad you did. I mean, hindi ko sya kilala but I dont know what he's capable of doing. Isa pa, your name is being drag to mess because of him."
" Hindi naman siguro nya ko sasaktan physically. But rest assured that Im not seeing him."
" Okay.."
" Rj, I want to tell you something."
" Ano yon?"
" I just want to let this out. Its been on my mind since we came here."
" Ano nga?"
" This place... Its filled with Nia's marks."
"....."
" What I mean is, she's everywhere. Im not complaining. She's your wife I know. But, are you really moving on, Rj? These things everywhere will always remind you of Nia."
" You want me to get rid of them?"
" Its not that. Maybe you can keep them? Yyo would love to have them in the future. But you need to keep them so you will be able to asses yourself clearly. For your own and for .. -"
" Us.."
Lumingon ako sa kanya at nalaman kong nakatingin sya sakin. His smile wasnt bright but full of understanding.
" Im counted?"
" Oo naman. So, help me clean up?"
After we ate, we started gathering Nia's things and neatly arranging them inside the box. Halos alas-dos na ng madaling araw ng matapos kami kahit konting gamit lang naman iyon. Ewan ko ba pero, we are so careful holding her things. Parang lahat yon babasagin.
" Thank you.."
Napatingin ako kay Rj habang umiinom kami ng tubig sa kitchen.
"..."
" For understanding how important Nia is to me."
" Rj, she's your wife, I had long accept that she will always be a constant part of what are we going to be. Buti nalang, sakin ka nya binilin. Hay, the perks of being Maine Mendoza."
I tried to lighten up the mood and Im glad I did.
" 😂 Kahit naman hindi sya nagbilin sayo, wala naman yata akong ibang makikita. Even my son dotted you."
" Minsan naiisip ko, salamat talaga at AlDub fan si Nia eh."
"😂😂"
" But kidding aside, Im proud of how brave you had been after you lost her. I saw your struggles but you slay it Rj. Alam kong proud na proud din si Nia sayo. "
" All thanks to you. Alam mong malaking parte ka sa lahat, Menggay. I started walking in darkness when I lost Nia, Yes. But I didnt walked alone. You had been walking with me ever since. So thank you for staying and for adjusting for me and Yyo. "
" Because I love you and I want to prove myself to you, Rj. Hindi ko nagawa yon noon eh. This is my second chance."
" Pwede ba kitang ligawan?"
He blurted out while are having a moment.
" Ano?!"
" Ligawan. Ikaw. Kasi ano, hindi ko ginawa yon kaya mas pinili mo ang iba eh. Masyado akong nag assume na may intindihan na tayo. Eh, nasingitan na pala ako ng iba."
"...."
" Uyyy.."
" Akala ko ako nanliligaw dito eh."
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