My Saviour - Tanner X Woods

Chapter 19 - Missing

It was turning dark outside. I was sat in my car outside the office to try and gather my thoughts. I had had a really productive day today and I was on camera a lot all day. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I turned on my engine and began to drive. I didn't particularly have anywhere in mind, I just wasn't ready to head back to Tanner's yet. 

I was driving for a few hours and found myself in the mountains. It was so beautiful. Day had passed and it was now night. I pulled off the road and got out of my car. The view was breathtaking. 

I perched myself on a nearby fence that was just off the side of the road. I could see all the lights in the valley. Small villages, the slight buzz of life, like little ants from here. Car lights slowly drove through the tiny little villages seeming to light up the quiet houses. The trees around me swayed gently in the cool breeze. I thought about me and Tanner. I felt tears prick my eyes. I miss him. I just want to feel his warm embrace. I just want to have him by my side.

I slowly got down off the fence, careful to make sure I didn't slip and fall. I felt so refreshed. It was amazing. I headed back to the car, still taking in the view around me. I heard a slight rustling from in the trees. I was a little nervous. I walked quicker to my car. I kept glancing through the trees. I noticed two eyes peer out of the trees at me. I was startled. I jumped into my car and started up the engine. As I began to drive off, a deer came out of the trees and sprinted across the road. I was scared of a deer. I laughed to myself. 

I turned the radio on quietly and began to sing along. I realised that I had no idea where I was. The roads looked very different when going the other way. I reached into the glove box and pulled out the Sat Nav and went on my way. 

After about two hours, I reached a place that was familiar to me. I turned off the Sat Nav and continued to drive.

 I headed to the nearest place for food. It happened to be a McDonalds. It was completely empty. I went inside and ordered a burger. I sat in the far corner by the window and watched cars drive by. I began to think about Scott. I thought about how I thought Tanner was different to him. In the end I was wrong. I finally found somebody who I could trust and connect with, but it was thrown in my face like it is every time. 

I just wanted somebody I could be honest with instead of pretending all the time like normal. Scott was the first person I ever told about my feelings. We had been friends for about 8 years when I first started talking to him. He would always say he was busy. I realised he couldn't deal with it but never actually told me. I stopped talking about how I felt for a while. 

Then Skylar came along and she was so good to me. We would talk to each other about everything. Anything that was on our minds, we would just rant about it to each other. I began to notice that it was all digging away at me and I tried to warn her about it. She didn't realise the damage it was doing, constantly firing negativity at each other. I stopped talking to her about stuff after a while because I knew I was also making her mental state worse. She kept reassuring me I wasn't but I knew I was, even if she didn't realise it. 

I had to watch her get worse and worse as a result of me talking about everything. She was diagnosed with depression about a year into me talking to her about stuff. She was always so happy and bubbly when I first met her, but she started to change and became mopey. I have always blamed myself for her depression. I didn't want to tell Tanner about Skylar in case he ran away because of what I did to her.

I felt myself becoming worse. I quickly finished eating and left. I sat in the car and started the engine.

I finally had reached Tanners after another hour or so. It was 1am. I had received a few texts on the way to the mountains but I guessed it would be Tanner. I didn't want to answer. I just needed to get away for a few hours. See somewhere new. 

I looked at the messages. 

"Where are you?"

"Are you still at the office?"

"Have you gone home? You don't need to go home."

"I'm worried now, Please answer me."

I smiled a little bit. He does actually still care. I slowly got out of the car and headed towards the house. I saw the living room light was on. I tried to open the door but it was locked. I knocked and waited. I saw Tanner slowly rise from the sofa rubbing his eyes. He glanced over and saw me looking through the window. His face seemed to light up. He walked quickly to the door, frantically unlocking it. He tossed the door open and flung his arms around me, placing his head into my neck. I held him tightly. 

He pulled back but held my shoulders comfortingly. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good. Great actually." I smiled lightly. 

"Where were you? I went around all the bases but they were locked and nobody was there." 

"I went for a drive. I ended up in the mountains somewhere. I just needed some space to clear my head and get away from everything. I didn't look at my messages until just then when I got back here."

"I was so worried. I thought that you... No. It doesn't matter. I'm just glad you're okay. Come in, it's freezing." 

He grabbed my hand and pulled me in the house. Cassie was a little wary due to it being so late but she eventually snuggled into me. Tanner and I sat down on the sofa by the TV. The TV was switched off and there was a blanket thrown over the side of the sofa. Tanner grabbed it and wrapped me up in it. 

Tanner shuffled closer to me and placed his arm around my shoulders. I look up at him. He placed a gentle kiss on my forehead.  I rested my head on his shoulder and fell asleep.