My Saviour - Tanner X Woods

Chapter 10 - One Big Family.

Tanner's POV
"You feel better yet?" I said quietly looking over at Woods. He looked up slightly towards me and nodded. "I suppose I'm better. Im just numb I guess. I don't really feel anything at the moment. All of my emotions built up and when I finally let them escape, I seemed to have lost everything. Every thought, every feeling, every memory. Everything. I don't seem to function well, if at all when numb." He looked down into his lap, emptiness covering his face.

A sudden knock at the door seemed to stir the atmosphere a little. I noticed Woods grab the bottom of his sleeve and pull it over his hands. Paul poked his head into the room, not bringing his entire body through the door and into the room, just leaning slightly. "Hey, we are gonna record some GG, you coming?" He asked looking over at me, but his eyes then fall on Woods who seems to have completely zoned out again. "Yeah sure." I tapped Woods' shoulder and gestured for him to follow me.

He got up slowly from his chair and grabbed something from his desk and walked out behind Paul and I. We headed upstairs to the GG set. Connor was already sat on his computer. Matt was sat in his office across the hall, when he saw us he got up and walked into the set. "You ready?" He asked as he sat down. "Yeah. I am. What can Woods do? Anything or can he just watch CJ sort the audio? He might pick it up" I asked hoping he would say that he could just watch. "Well there isn't much to do so he can help CJ." Matt smiled slightly and Woods walked over towards CJ after grabbing a chair from by the door. He sat down carefully, his grip fixated on what was in his hand.

As the shoot began, I kept an eye on him, just making sure he was alright. He had a small clip that he kept flipping the grips on and they would click quietly, unheard to anybody who wasn't specifically listening out for it.

By the time the shoot was done, Woods looked so exhausted again. He cheered up a little when we all screamed at each other every time we crashed into each other in GTA. For a brief second, our eyes met and he quickly looked away but he started flicking the clip a lot more again. I had realised it was for his anxiety now.

I stood up and walked to the door gesturing for Woods to come with me. As I walked down the stairs I heard him walking slowly behind me. When we arrived at our office, I held the door for him and closed it behind him as he sat down at his desk, placing his head heavily into his hands with a sigh.

"Want a cookie?" I asked as I held a packet towards him. A small smile appeared on the corner of his lips and he shook his head. "Sure? They're really goooodd!" I nudged him a little and he smiled again and shook his head. "Fine then." I went and slumped into my chair and pouted. He just looked at me with that look and then stared at the computer screen.

"I asked you if you wanted to come with us on this little trip away last Saturday. You still want to or not?" I asked. He looked over to me as though he was going to say something but nothing came out his mouth. "It's okay if you don't, I understand but it just might be nice to get away for a while and see somewhere different?"

"Alright. I will go. But I still need clothes from my place." I nodded and smiled and got back go work. He sat in silence still staring into the distance. I seemed to be the only person to notice it. I could read him even when he didn't show specific signs of feeling a certain way. It sounded like Scott had no idea about Woods' state. He knew he wasn't good but seemed to run away whenever there was the smallest sign of sadness. It made Woods feel really hurt. He just wanted to hurt Scott but he just couldn't do that to him, he could make him feel absolutely incredible one moment and the next he felt so worthless because Scott had just left him when he needed him the most.

For some reason it seemed like he couldn't hate Scott no matter how much he tried. He was grateful for the time that he had spent in so much pain from laughing so hard and all the memories that they had together. But Scott made new friends and Woods was pushed out from everything so he had to deal with watching everybody else have fun with his best friend while he sat alone.

He said how, even when in a room full of his 'friends' he felt so alone. Everybody would be talking around him and he just sat in silence because he said nobody wanted to have to deal with him.

"Woods? Can I ask you something?"
"Yeah I suppose?"
"Why do you hate talking to others about how you feel?"
He looked at me and lowered his head with a small smile. He clearly felt awkward.

"I just feel like such a shitty person when i talk about myself. I understand people need to talk about how they feel But I feel like I'm just going to make everybody around me depressed. I haven't mentioned her before, but I used to have a friend called Skylar. Me and her were really close and we used to talk to each other all the time about how we felt and she was always okay. But I was never okay. I would rant to her about how bad I felt all the time and was constantly negative and I slowly dug away at her. Stealing her happiness from her soul and pouring it down the drain. I slowly destroyed her mind just by speaking about mine. So now I fear everybody will be damaged by me."

"Did you ever talk to Scott about anything? Is that why he is distant do you think?"

"I believe when he figured that I was so messed up, he couldn't cope with me and all of my messed up ways so left. He had just made a few new friends at his new job and so he could talk to them. When I tried to talk to him he would just avoid it somehow. I don't know how but just somehow... I hated it. After that I stopped talking to anybody about how I felt and everything got worse. I was harming most days and I couldn't bare to live because I knew nobody cared. I just wanted to stop time."

"Well now you have me and the guys at the office. So you don't need Scott. You have me, Matt, Paul. Yeah. Just the entire crew would be willing to listen to you. We are one big family" I said.

"I love you Tanner."
"I love you too Woods."