Survive (Discontinued)

Chapter 27: Shadow's P.O.V

"Matsu?!" My mother yelled as she saw him fall.

"I-I..." but my voice trailed off. What do I do?

"Shadow?" He questioned as I ran to him.

"Shh, don't speak. You need to save your strength." I said but he ignored my pleas.

"Find Kato. Tell him he was good to me all those years ago. He'll understand."

"Shut up! Stop talking! I-" but this time he cut me off when he held his hand towards me.

"It's okay Shadow. I've experienced death before. It's actually a fun place. A black expanse until your soul possesses another body. Since I've already possessed one I probably won't be able to possess another. On the bright side, Mikal can finally have Stestial without my interfering." He said and then closed his eyes.

"PAPA!" I yelled but he made no response as his eyes slid shut and his beating heart ceased its steady thrum.

"Shadow I-" my mother went to start.

"Leave! I don't ever want to see you again! Just go!" I yelled.

"Shadow-"

"No! It's all your fault he's gone! If you hadn't come back... n-none of this would ever have happened!" I yelled and her eyes began to blaze but she left.

"Good bye Shadow. Maybe I'll see you again some day." Then she flew off. I watched as she faded into the colors. My anger and grief surrounded me. My father had died before me. I'm angry at him for coming back. If he never showed his face I wouldn't have started to like seeing him. Now that he's gone my mind thought of all the bad things I could do to feel alive.

Everything inside me was numb. I couldn't feel anything. My body unable to temper these raw emotions. I started to feel anger rise inside me and something spoke inside my head.

"Hello Shadow. Do you remember me? Your friends stopped my powers by loving each other. It's disgusting. Love. It only weakens you." He finished and I believed him. Had I not started loving my father then I would never have had to face this guilt.

"What do I do to stop feeling love, Kooliparie?" I asked.

"So you do remember, that's good. Simply go back to the real world and find Mikal. We need Stestial too." He said darkly.

"Okay." I replied numbly and walked out of the woods. The second I left I was standing before Stestial's shack.

"What a weakling." I heard Kooliparie mutter.

"She's my friend, well, was my friend." I stated unemotionally.

"Well, find her and Mikal." He commanded.

"Okay." I replied and left. Wherever they were, I was finding them. They'll pay for making me do anything.

As I walked blindly forward to wherever my feet would carry me. My mind trailed back to the painful things I could do to feel alive.

Cut.

Kill.

Self harm is always an option.

Maybe murder can take this pain away. Inflict my own pain upon them. It would be so fun. Watching the life fade from their eyes. The blood welling up around them. The lifeless words that fall as their last sentence. Oh what fun.