The One She Needed

Chapter 4

RAQUEL

It's the same cycle, repeating an annoying sound scraping the cranium. His pleading words unfortunately worked.

Getting down on his knees, apologizing for skipping out on me. I know I should leave, walk out. But given the low success rate I've had with men this could very much be the best deal I can get when it comes to Derek.

So now here I lay staring at the ceiling, cold sleeplessness in me as I face the comfort of the empty bed sheets we used to imprint in our passion.

My mind drifted over to the coat that rested on a chair, I had been meaning to return it to that man. And for a brief moment as I thought about him, a stupid grin found itself on my face at the incident back at the office.

His eyes were the first thing I noticed about him, pools of blue along with his firm jaw and pink pouty lips. He easily towered over me, overwhelming me with his presence set to affirm the flutters of wings in my belly. His scent managed to overload my nose; it was woodsy and had a hint of sandalwood. For some reason it suited him.

The kindness he showed me had been flattering even if he showed it because he felt sorry for me upon realising that Derek wasn't around. I scoffed feeling ridiculous for lusting after a stranger who seemed to be younger than me and was different from what I'm used to.

And I had Derek.

Still as I lay in the pool of secrecy bound by the hands of darkness who solemnly swore to keep the prying eyes of mine a secret, I can't help but still wonder about the man. It's fine to just think about him and leave it at that.

***

His mouth is moving and nothing comes out to me.

No sound along with no affection.

"I'm really tired, baby," he mumbles as he returns his gaze to his iPad. The quick perusal over the red lingerie set I bought, bruised me as he sat on the bed preparing notes for some meeting.

I know he's been trying to get a promotion at work, but back then work could be set aside easily to delve between my thighs. Now he barely wants to touch me.

"Terrance... you're always working."

"Where do you think that money I use to take you out on those fancy dates comes from, huh?"

For a split second I can't recognize him. With the hard scowl on his face you'd think I just told him the worst news. His harsh tone had never been aimed at me before and for a second I freeze unsure of how to react.

"I don't mean t-to-"

"Then don't bite the hand that feeds you."

Silence is suffocating only if you allow it and I allowed the silence to block the air from filling my lungs.

At this point he might as well spit in my face.

Returning to the bathroom in no time I buried myself under the sheets wounded.

He loves me.

He loves me... not

***

There he was alone in the office by himself again. Swallowing the nerves I clutched the coat tighter which on some days I found myself sniffing already addicted to the smell.

"Hey...?" I almost wanted to kick myself for sounding so unsure.

"Door lady," he smiled.

Tripping on shaky ground into the blinding light of his smile.