The One She Needed

Chapter 13

ALEX

She can't twist this knife so carelessly in me,

I thought everything was falling into place for us.

After what transpired between us, I was convinced we were set to be together, the etched memory of her wrapped around me felt so divine and I know she felt it to. The next day, her behaviour had resulted in her being slightly distant which I tried not to read too much into.

Now sitting here, coffee in hand her words lick up flames against my skin. Dressed casually in jeans and heels, I still found her perfect as she looks apologetically at me pity in her eye as she bit her quivering bottom lip.

"I never realised the full extent to which you're willing to make others happy other than yourself." I never planned on my voice coming out so harsh, watching her flinch I wanted to reach out and sooth her for lashing out a bit.

Her eyes roamed around the coffee shop we were in. the place was moderately full thus causing a scene was not an option. She already seemed to be experiencing discomfort with this situation as she clenched and unclenched her jaw.

"Alex," she breathed," I understand you're upset about this. You're amongst the few people who get me, please know I'm doing this to benefit us both."

I scoffed, suddenly feeling trapped in some way, the air not so pleasant to breathe in filling my lungs, constricted with pain.

"Why are you trying to end our relationship now?"

"I tried to let you off easy more than once before like back at the ball bu-"

"You wound up spreading your legs for me."

"That was a mistake," she quickly bit back in a hushed tone once we caught sight of some people looking our way. A pinnacle of lace wound around my neck to suffocate the ample pill, it hurt knowing she viewed what we shared that night as a lapse of judgement.

Looking to the side, avoiding my reflection in her sepia eyes I swallowed hard to control my anger as I said." Are you staying with him?"

I knew the answer; I just needed her to verbally say it. She fiddled aimlessly with the sugar packet on the table which I found myself wanting to rip out of her hands to return her focus on me. As soon as she nodded her head meekly, the words I had bottled up inside like a flash flood swept into the depths of my mouth.

"Damn it Raquel! He's cheating on-"

"I know!" she snapped back, silencing us both as a painful light shone on us both. I was surprised that somehow all along she knew.

"You know?"

"I'm not stupid, alright. I know Derek has been unfaithful; he didn't exactly do a bang up job at hiding his affairs. Besides given what we did, I have no right to judge him," she mumbled.

"Please, don't- don't put yourself in the same league as him. I'll carry your sins." I said desperately clutching onto my sanity as I continued.

"Just leave him." reaching my hand across the table to grab onto hers, she pulled it back, taking away my chance  to touch her.

And as she gazed around the shop, I could tell she really didn't want any more speculation about us.

"I need to go," she stood up quickly and made her way towards the door, limbs paralysed endlessly wishing it were easy to rampage through paths carelessly.

Running after her will only add more drama to an unfavourable battle, throwing a few bills on the table; I headed out into the pouring rain. The droplets sinking into my jacket, the sidewalk my only companion numbing the ache in my chest.