Unpredictable

Extra One-Shot that No One Asked For But I Wrote Anyway

AN: This is set before Rose meets the ninja, during her time with the FGAI, with Neil as her partner. It is 200% canon. Fight me. 

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So, the situation was bad. Really bad. 

Like, thirty armed snakes trying to kill the Black Rose and Neil bad, but they'd also managed to get stuck in the old Serpentine tombs brand of bad. So bad squared. 

They needed to explode some things to get out, which was so bad, because they were supposed to be convert, but oh well. Plus they were in the cave and the explosion might kill them too. 

Luckily, Neil was a tech-guy. The Black Rose counted him as pretty much useless otherwise, but when it came to the tech arena he had her beat. It was pretty much the only reason Rose hadn't ditched him yet. 

Neil grappled with his phone as they ran, the cave lit by torch light. He took off the back, shoving it into his pocket. They could hear the hissing of snakes around the corner and the rattle of their tails. Neil's heart beat a little faster as he used his nail to unscrew and then pop out the yellow wire behind. 

Rose skidded to a stop, pulling Neil with her. She pointed to a crevice in the rock, three feet above them, just big enough to fit a person. "Move. I'll buy time." 

Neil heaved himself up, kicking. Rose pushed him when he couldn't go all the way. Neil worked himself, rolling till he turned around, then shimmied back until he knew they wouldn't see him.
He fumbled with his phone— this lighting was terrible, if only he has a flashlight or a screwdriver or something— but he picked a part the pieces, working his way to the nickel-cadium battery.

His heart jumped when he heard the first clank of a sword, then the twish of an arrow, then the thunk and thump of the arrow hitting meat and sticking in. Neil did his best not to gag and to focus. 

But the lighting was so dim, and it was hard to see... he had to squint to even get a feel of the colors of the small wires. It took all his focus to concentrate on blocking out the signs of the battle. 

Rose, to her credit, didn't talk much during the fight. The only way he knew she was still alive was the panicking of the snakes, and the occasional grunt from the woman herself. 

He heard snippets of conversation from the snakes, but managed to ignore most of it until he heard one key phrase: 

"Wait, fellowsssss.... She's but a surface dweller, used to the sun. If we turn offffff the lightssss, we will have the advantage."

No, no no! He needed that light! 

Neil did his best to start working faster, picking and unscrewing and rewiring all he could. He breathed heavy, but his concentration completely broke when he heard Rose laugh. 

How could she be laughing? They were about to ruin his— 

Wait, that was a fake laugh. He could tell by the deeper, darker tenor of it. The only time Rose actually laughed (quieter, with an airy, almost weak quality) was when she was with that small blond kid that he'd accidentily found out about. 

"Ah, you think darkness is your ally?" Rose continued to laugh. 

Neil's fingers stopped working. He heard snakes pause, breath holding, as they waited for the epic (and borrowed) monologue. 

Rose's laugh cut short. "You merely adopted the dark. I was born in it, molded by it." 

Neil's face got really red as he tried to stop himself from giggling. He'd shown her that movie, what, two nights ago? He picked up his pace on making the bomb. He was almost done. 

"I didn't see the light until I was already a woman, by then it was nothing to me but blinding!" 

The lights cut off, and Neil was left in the dark, trying not to bust a gut as he heard the snakes cry out and bones break and fangs snap. 

"The shadows betray you because they belong to me!" 

There was one or two final screams, and by that point Neil had lost it. He was laughing like a manic, holding his belly. 

A hand reached into the crevice and grabbed his ankle, yanking him out. Rose glared at him. It was a tad bit brighter out here, but no much. "It was supposed to distract them, not you." 

Neil, unaffected, handed Rose his bomb. "This will go off in five or so minutes. You keep making me fall harder and harder when you pull something like that. I love you." 

"That sounds like a 'you' problem." Rose pocketed the bomb. "Let's go." 

Rose took off jogging. Neil followed her through the dark. 

"Next time, do the voice!"

"No."