Unpredictable

Yet Another Extra-One Shot that No One Asked For

AN:  In case you haven't noticed, Neil and Willow were very, very nice to each other. They had the ideal partnership in the FGAI, perfect scores for teamwork... how can I not right random one shots about these two, really? 

Note: This one occurs before the other one, technically, not that you really need to know that but still. This is one of these two's very first mission together. 

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"Why are you wearing all black?" 

The Black Rose glared at her new partner, Neil. 

"Did you never get out of," Neil shivered, "that  phase?" 

She crossed her arms and stared ahead, not replying. 

"Don't tell me you're secretly an eighth grader." 

Rose's fists clenched. 

"You've clearly got some kind of issue if you're wearing that shade of black on top of that other shade."

Rose's eyes snapped to him. Neil jumped back, landing on his bum. He had not expected her to react. 

But that's what he wanted, wasn't it? A reaction? 

Rose stalked forward, her footsteps near silent. Her voice was just as quiet, but no less cutting. 

"I do have an issue, actually. It's that you won't shut up while I'm trying to figure out how to get out of the mess you got us in." 

Neil crossed his arms, looking to the left. "I thought you were a master escape artist." 

"I can break myself out just fine, I'm not sure if I left you alone for a minute I could trust you not to screw up the entire situation." 

Neil's back hit the cell wall. He held his hands up. His grin shook under her gaze. 

"So I've got to find a solution that works not only to get our job done but also allows for your incompetency." 

Rose squatted, her legs bending in a fluid, quick motion as she got eye level with him. 

"In my defense, how was I supposed to know that that guy was 'the big man'? He's kinda tiny." 

"Oh, I don't know; maybe read the briefing that we got ahead of time?" 

"Well, um," Neil pulled at the collar of his tee shirt. "The weather's nice today." 

Rose tilted her head to the side, still glaring at him. "We're in a cell, twenty feet under ground, and we've got ten minutes max before they return to start interrogating us, and you want to talk about the weather?" 

Neil sweat. "I can get us out of here." 

Rose stood up to full height. She raised her eyebrow and turned on her heel to stalk to the front of the cell, where the bars were. "Oh really?" 

"Sure. Bet you a dance." Neil crossed his arms and pulled himself to his feet. 

"A dance?" 

Rose scowled. Her hood pulled over her eyes, but it didn't take a genius to know that if looks could kill... well, maybe he'd still be alive. It was against policy to kill teammates. Formally. 

Neil nodded, letting in false bravado return in full. He was going to need it for this to work. 

"Oh, yeah. If I get us out of here, we go dancing. Doesn't have to be real, just... song plays on my phone in the FGAI's back parking lot and I get to see you break it down, you know? Or whatever."

He flashed Rose a dazzling smile, then looked her up and down, as if for the first time considering the notion (actually, it was what he'd been thinking about while he was supposed to be on lookout earlier. Oops). 

"That's it. I'm leaving you here." 

Neil rushed up to the bars beside her and leaned close to her. "No, no it's okay! No betting or dancing! We can just get out of here on our own and—" 

Rose elbowed him, knocking him out of her personal space. "Are you going to blabber or tell me your plan?" 

"I'm going to sing. That's the plan." Neil clapped his hands together, ignoring the pain in his gut. He had a high pain tolerance, which was probably why he was assigned to her, come to think of it.

Rose's hands dropped from the bars. She took a deep breath. "... that's your plan?" 

Neil shivered his shoulders, then make weird faces as he tried to warm up his jaw. "Why not?" 

"Doesn't pass the idiocy litmus test." 

Neil took a deep, deep breath. He set his shoulders back and got into position. 

"Oooooooh wheeeeere is my hairbrush? Ooooooh wheeeere is my hair brush? Oh where oh where oh where—" 

Rose stuck her fingers in her ears and banged her head against the wall. 

"IS MY HAIRBRUSH?!?!" 

She groaned as Neil shrieked the verses out, bellowing them with his arms spread wide.
A guard stomped up somewhere around the bridge. 

"Listen, you half-baked chorus wanna-be, my two-year-old niece is less tone deaf than you, so if you could just shut up before I come in there and dislocate your jaw, that would be—"

Neil reached through the bars, grabbing the man's lapel and banging his head against the bars. The man fell to the ground with a flop. "Dude, you sound way too much like my partner." 

Rose stared as Neil fished through his pockets until he found keys.

Neil jiggled the keys at her face, then slipped them into the lock and swung open the barred door. He bowed for Rose. "And that concludes my finale, madame. May I request a dance at the afterparty?" 

Rose walked out of the cell, brushing past him. She seemed stiffer than normal, which was somewhat of an accomplishment considering her normal posture may as well be a board. 

"...Give me a rendition of that on tape, and I'll think about it." 

"Wait, really?!"