Neon Lights- Frerard

Chapter Twenty-Nine- Frank

I lock myself in my room. It's your fault. Mikey's words swirl in my head like mixing paint. Paint. Gerard likes to paint. I press my fingers to the sides of my head. Someone knocks on my door. I feel like crying- no, screaming. I start gasping for air. My palms go sweaty- and then cold. I feel my heart pumping in my chest. Is it faster than normal? 

"FRANK!" I hear someone shout. Who cares? I let my tears out and hug my knees. What if I did something to Gee? I practically feel the words pressing against me like walls smashing me. Something clicks. I cover my ears and scream. Someone puts their hand on my shoulder. I scream again, slapping them.

Then everything stops. Kellin shakes my shoulders. He looks at me, half calm, half panicked. "Frank," he gently calls my name. I stare at him, tears still going down my cheek. He sighs and puts his arms around me slowly. I could push him away. Instead, I bury my face in his neck and let myself break down. He pats my back soothingly. 

~~~

Eventually, he gets me to calm down and sits me down. He brings me some water and sits next to me. "Thank you," I say, so softly I'm not sure he heard. He half-smiles and puts his arm around me. 

"I know how that must have felt. Partially, at least. I know your own thoughts were overwhelming you. It's hard, I get that. You don't have to be scared around me," he says, while mindlessly fiddling with a chain that's around his wrist. "Every time, before it got too bad, I would just take deep breaths and fiddle with this," he sighs, not looking away from the chain. "Most of the time, it would help," he takes it off and takes my wrist, putting it around mine. "I think you need it more than I do."

"Kellin-"

"Just take it. You could away give it back once everything gets better. But for now, you have a lot going on. I don't blame you for having an attack," he mumbles softly. He turns the chain to the end. "And if you need something more, just read it." 

I look down at the link, it's slightly larger than the others. In beautiful cursive letters, it spells: 

Aku Cinta Kamu 

"What does this mean?" I look up at Kellin. 

He smiles, remembering a distant memory. "It means I love you in Indonesian. You might not get it now, but one day, you will," he says. "But promise me one thing? If you ever need help, you'll come to me?" He asks, looking directly into my eyes. I nod slowly, looking back at the chain. 

"Kellin?" Vic knocks on the door. He walks in and sighs. "Thank god, both of you are here, we all thought you were kidnapped!" 

Kellin walks over and presses his lips softly to Vic's. He whispers something so that I can't hear it and Vic looks over at me. He just moves and walks to me, wrapping his arms around me. I see Elle walk in and she sighs, the same way Vic did. 

"Frank-"

"I won't go," I blurt out. She raises an eyebrow. "I won't go up to trial until I see Gerard," I stand up and walk to her. 

"Frank! Trials are less than a month! You can't bail now-"

"I won't," I repeat. "Please, message his brother, Mikey about it," I look back at Kellin and Vic. Kellin looks relatively calm- almost like he knows how it will play out. Vic, on the other hand, looks the exact opposite. I walk out the door, a subtle feeling of regret. But I know what I'm doing. Besides...

Gerard is worth it.