Cuts of Love - Yaoi Story BoyxBoy

Chapter 13 - Gnawing

Chapter 13:

I woke up with the sun pouring into my room, making patterns across my duvet. My room. It felt weird to be calling something mine. It seemed so natural, and so did being with Ace. It felt as if everything was alright again, like it was back then. But it's not, it will never be like that again. And now I had to decide whether to stay or to wait. I had no idea what to do.

I sat up and yawned, combing my hair with my fingers. I hadn't packed anything with me so I couldn't stay for another night, and I would have to sort everything out with my father which would take at least a whole week, but this would just be if I wanted to move in straight away. I felt something gnaw at my insides, I had this sense of power, of control. I felt like I actually had the control over my life for the first time in forever. I had choices, I hadn't made any real choices in the past. The only three I had ever made that had affected me were: To give into the voice, to be friends with Alex and to forgive Ace.

Don't get me wrong, I haven't forgiven Ace completely, he had left me without any warning, he had left me with the mess of my remaining family. I know it sounds immature but I kinda hated him for that. But that sounds stupid. He's my brother and he came back for me.

But I couldn't help thinking, why now?

I shook my head and tried to clear my mind of all these thoughts. I had to decide whether I wanted to stay or not. I needed to talk to Alex again.

I reached for my phone.

My stomach churned. It was weird. I had someone I could talk to, someone who I felt like I could rely on. I had only known him for barely a month and he had changed the way my mind functioned. What had happened to the old me? What had happened to the me who only noticed hate and taunts from people around me? What had happened to the me who had to live with the feeling of shame, sadness, frustration and tiredness all the time?

It was a complete cliché to say that it had all changed since I had met Alex.

I picked up my phone and scrolled through the messages.

"Aha 😉, Goodnight! And I know I've said this before, but I'll say it again. I had a really nice time with you today, when can we meet up again? x"

He used grammar. He used a kiss at the end of his sentence. He had never done that before and neither had I. What was he trying to do? If he was trying to confuse me, good job, he had certainly done that.

I hesitantly put the phone back on the bedside table. I couldn't burden Alex with all of my problems, besides he could still be asleep.

"...Nate?"

"I'm... A little cold, can... Can I hug you?"

"Warm..."

"Yeah... It is."

Blood started to frantically march through my veins, my cheeks felt hot. I jumped up from the bed and started to pace. What had caused me to think of that now? And what was with my reaction?

No. No. I couldn't have anymore thoughts. I had to decide whether I was going to stay or not. And even though my mind wasn't fully awake, the churning sensation in my stomach told me I already had the answer.

I hauled myself out of bed; groaned when my feet connected with the floor causing my knees to click.

I heard movement in the living room and I gulped slightly. I had to tell Ace today. Well, right now to be precise.

I moved towards the door and placed my hand on the handle, taking a deep breath.

The door swung open. "RISE AND SHINE, SLEEPY HEAD!" Ace yelled, almost slamming the door in my face.