clementine P.O.V
marlons death impacted the group more than we thought it would. its hard, without him. even after what he did to me. and were still facing the repercussions from it, even now.
my hand glided over my belly as I frowned. I had been worried about pregnancy from the beginning, and that horror had come true. it wasn't until a month and a half later that we had found out, after my constant vomiting, swelling of my breasts and belly, and finally a pregnancy test supplied by ruby to confirm it. I think everything that happened had impacted louis the most, though. it changed him. instead of jokey and silly, he was now broody and serious. nothing like his old self. he even got antsy whenever any of the boys came too close. I didn't like it. this louis wasn't the louis I fell in love with. this was someone else. he never even gave me random hugs and kisses anymore like he used to. the closest to affection I would get was him holding my hand while I was emptying the contents of my stomach into the bin or toilet. I wanted my boyfriend back, and I had a plan to get him back.
I slipped into the bedroom, faintly hearing his gentle snores as he slept. he always looked so peaceful when he slept, all stress lines that had been creased into his face smoothed away as he breathed. he could sleep through an atomic bomb, and that made my plan a little harder, as I had to wake him up. I crept over towards him, and sat on the edge of the bed. "louis" I cooed, hoping it would be enough. it wasn't. "louis" I cooed a little louder, sighing in relief as he turned over, squeezing his eyes tightly shut in the morning light. I had been awake for a while, preparing my plan. "good morning" I smiled, running my fingers through his dreadlocks, leaning down to kiss him. he turned his head to the side , so my lips ended up against his cheek instead. "louis... please. im okay. you don't need to be like that." I said, frowning. I missed the feel of him wrapping his arms tight around me, swinging me in the air. "no, clem. I don't want to bring any memories of that back its not-"
"stop. just, stop. I said im okay. you don't need to treat me like glass. your hurting me a lot more than he ever did." I hated playing that card, and a pit welled in my stomach as his eyes filled with greif and regret, and uncontrollable hurt." "clem that's not fair." I sighed, knowing he was right, yet being too stubborn to admit it. curse me for being just like lee. "yes it is fucking fair. what he did to me, is sick and twisted, but those memories are gonna linger in my fucking mind forever until I find some new ones to replace them!" I yelled, running a frustrated hand through my hair. his eyes widened and the pit in my stomach grew, threatening to swallow me whole. "I love you. with my whole heart. and im sorry that marlon took what I was saving for you, our first child, our first time! but that doesn't mean that you have to treat me like im made of porcelain! im not some glass doll that needs to be shielded from the world! I feel suffocated, yet abandoned. your smothering me and disallowing me from having any contact with the others, yet you wont even hold me when we sleep anymore! its not helping that im fucking pregnant, and your too terrified to do anything to support me!" he quietly stood up and slipped on his coat. "im gonna leave you to calm down. come find me in a bit." he stroked my cheek gently and walked out of the room. curse him for being a gentle soul. I hadn't meant to get so riled up, these fucking hormones have been messing with my brain. I wanted to scream, shout, and cry myself into oblivion, so I chose the latter. i sat on the edge of the bed and cried into my hands.
I didn't want to fight with him. that wasn't even part of the plan. the plan was simply to convince him to come with me to the piano room where I had a small party set up, where we could relax, have a laugh, and feel normal again, where I could show him that im fine, and he doesn't need to worry about me. I know for a fact he is gonna go there, wanting to play the piano to blow off some steam.
louis P.O.V
I headed towards the piano room, guilt and shame clouding my head, tormenting me. I didn't know she felt like that. I pushed open the heavy oak doors, and almost fell over. candles were set up around the room, as were pillows and various games. everyone was scattered around, staring at me. "guys... whats all this?" ruby stood up and made her way over to me.
"clem figured that with everything going on, we all needed to blow off some steadm, and have a good time. what happened?" I hung my head, regret creeping into my mind. "we- we had a fight. she came in and woke me- up, and tried to kiss me but I refused, she got upset and said that I was hurting her more than m-m-HE ever did. is that true?" ruby looked down, nodding silently. "im sorry louis, but you refusing to love her because she was hurt, would definitely hurt her more." I let out a strangled sob, as everyone took their leave and filed out of the room. the only person to stay was ruby. "fuck" I said, sitting on the piano stool. "ive been so scared... so scared to bring up those memories of what he did... I wasn't even noticing how it was effecting her. im such a dumbass" I let out another strangled cry, and ruby sat beside me, draping her arm over my shoulder. I buried my head in my hands, wanting to push away the guilt and shame, but not knowing how. "theres still time to fix it, you know. just go back to her, give her a big kiss on the lips and tell her how sorry you are." I nodded and we both stood, walking back to the dorms
once outside our shared dorm room, she gave me a hug. "thanks ruby. this means a lot." I said. the faint sounds of cries coming from the room cut off my thoughts "I really needed that." she smiled and patted my shoulder, walking away. I took a deep breath before tapping on the door. "you don't need to knock on your own bedroom door louis." came a quiet voice from inside. I slowly entered. she was sat at the end of the bed, looking into her lap, wringing her hands and sniffling. "how did you know it was me?" I asked, trying to divert her thoughts. it seemed to work a little as she finally looked up at me. "we have been together for a year. you use the same knock for everything. I think I would know it by now." I smiled at her and sat down beside her, taking her hand in mine."
"clem I-"
"don't apologise. the only one who needs to apologise is me. I was way out of line. I shouldn't have said what I did. it was wrong." I shook my head
"this isn't your fault, clem. you were right. I was trying to shield you from the world instead of letting you come to terms with it. I abandoned you when you needed me most." I leant forward and pressed my lips to hers. the fluttering of my stomach returned as my body remembered the familiar feeling. my mind was racing, worried I was upsetting her, but she eased my worries when she swung her leg over mine, sitting on my lap. my body felt like it was on fire. but in a good way. alarm bells rang in my head when she began to tug on my shirt. "clem- I don't- think" I said between kisses as she slipped my shirt over my head. "just shut up and kiss me" I gave into my desires and allowed her to do her thing. she slipped her own shirt off, revealing the lingerie that she had worn when trapping marlon. I bit my lip as I surveyed her almost bare body. "it wasn't easy getting it on, but hopefully you like it." I kissed her again, before moving to her neck "clem I love it." I gently massaged her body, feeling her hum under my touch. I slid off her jeans, as she fiddled with my belt buckle.
clementine P.O.V
sex with louis is different to sex with marlon. marlon was harsh, pounding into me at forced that made me hurt. louis however, is gentle, touching me in all the right places, never stepping over the line between pleasure and pain, but he borders it so closely that the results are simple mind- shattering bliss. I could never get enough of this. his gentle yet pleasureable strokes making me moan his name, the way he caresses my body in places that make me wild with desire.
his body collapsed next to mine, breathing heavily. he turned to me and smiled. "clem, are you sure that your ok? that wasn't upsetting at all or-" I placed my hand over his mouth to silence him.
"lou, that was perfect. I almost forgot about everything that's happened. your not like marlon. you do it right. with him, I felt nothing. with you I felt... bliss. true and utter bliss." he sighed and wrapped me in his arms. "just tell me if I ever go too far, ok?" I nodded, drifting into sleep, thinking about the life growing inside me. it may not be louis's biologically, but this child will forever be his.
massive thanks to @BellaMax1122 for telling me about a loose end I never tied up. something felt wrong about the ending, but I couldn't tell what, until they told me that we never found out if clem got pregnant or not. so here we go! she did, but the child will forever truly belong to louis. amen to that!
L.A.C.B
1756 words
