the storm inside | kitty (boyxboy)

14 | Edom

They went over the plan again.

Magnus, Alec, Jace, Emma, Julian, Ty and Kit would track down Jonathan. Mark, Cristina, Aline and Helen would be keeping an eye on situations in their world and watch over Tavvy, Dru, Rafe and Max.

Clary was supposed to be stuck in Alicante, under Jem's watchful eye. She still hadn't recovered fully from the spells that Barnabas had put on her. But after much insistence and some puppy-eyes, she was allowed to tag along.

Thanks to Kieran, they were allowed back into Seelie, into the tunnel which led to Edom. All of them were careful, witchlight stones lighting up their path. As they crossed the threshold into Edom, Kit felt a sucking feeling and suddenly, he was in an entirely different place.

His hands were in someone else's, and he looked up into Ty's grey eyes. Ty's hands were warm, and he was clutching Kit's palms tightly.

Something was quite wrong, though Kit couldn't place it. Something was wrong. Very, very, dangerously wrong. It sank into the bottoms of Kit's stomach, settling into a disturbing feeling.

"T-Ty?" Kit didn't understand.

"I love you, Kit," Ty was saying. "I love you so much."

"Ty, what's going on?" But Kit didn't free his hands, though it wasn't holding Ty's hands as much.

"Do you not love me?" Ty's face dropped, and Kit felt extremely panicky.

He hurriedly held on. "No, no, that's not what I meant. I love you but I thought you were angry at me?"

"Oh, silly, how could I stay angry at you for so long?"

Ty bent down to kiss Kit, but Kit shoved Ty away. "You're not Ty," he said with narrowed eyes, "Are you?"

"What are you talking about? Of course, I'm Ty! I was wrong for being angry at you, please forgive me, Kit," said Ty.

"You're not my Ty. I don't know who you are, but the real Ty wouldn't admit he was wrong so easily. The real Ty would never say 'silly'. He would use some eighty-letter long word that I would never get. You're not Ty. Not. Ty."

Ty's face contorted into some expression which looked vaguely like shock and hurt and anger. "I am Ty, Kit. Why wouldn't I be? You're just being weird."

"Me? Weird?" Kit yelled. "Talk about you! You're the weird one! You're the one who's going around pretending like everything I did wasn't to protect you. Like everything I did was worthless in your eyes. Oh, of course, because you're so esteemed and smart. For a moment, I was shocked that you lowered yourself to my standard."

"Kit, I—"

"Say no more," said Kit fiercely. He stared at Ty with strong, golden eyes, ones that radiated with a strange, yet unique sort of power. And then, just as quickly as he came, Ty disappeared, and Kit was suddenly on his knees, in an earth-barren landscape.

He gasped and wiped the tears that he didn't know were freely flowing down the side of his face. He remembered what Jace had once said to him, and it made him want to cry even more, but no. Shadowhunters didn't cry. Herondales didn't cry. Kit didn't cry.

Freely we serve, because we freely love, as in our will to love or not; in this we stand or fall.

Ty didn't get what he had seen.

He was in a room with Livvy and Kit, laughing as he read a book titled 'Oceanopedia'. The whole idea was new and strange to him, for he didn't know why he was laughing or reading the book.

But he was definitely enjoying it. As Livvy giggled, Kit bent down and kissed Ty gently. Ty didn't know why, but Kit didn't feel... like Kit. He felt entirely different and unfamiliar, which unsettled Ty greatly.

Yet, Ty loved the idea of Kit being able to kiss him openly, though it didn't make much sense to him. Could he love and hate someone at the same time? Was it even possible for the human heart to hold two opposing emotions at the same time?

Ty still didn't get what was happening, until he remembered reading about the varied types of demons that lurked in Edom. One of which fed on the deepest desires and wishes of humans.

And suddenly Ty was thrown into greater confusion. Why was Kit kissing him, or even being together with him, his deepest desire and wish? Did that mean he didn't hate Kit as much as he thought, even not at all?

But Ty was curious what his deepest desire and wish from Livvy was. "Kit, what's Livvy doing here?"

Kit stopped abruptly and stared at him.

"Livvy? As in, Livia Blackthorn?"

Ty nodded.

"Oh, Ty," Kit said, sounding sad. He touched Ty's face lightly. "She's dead, Ty. She died when she was younger, in the Dark War. Sebastian had told your dad to kill Julian, but Livvy jumped in at the last minute. The knife went through and she passed away."

Ty froze.

This is not real this is not real this is not real—

He screamed at Kit, "You're lying! Livvy didn't die during the Dark War, she was killed by Annabel!"

And now, astonishingly enough, he had begun to cry.

Kit's face had confusion written all over it. "Who's Annabel?"

Ty reached out for Kit; his hand passed through and he found himself sinking down, down, down until he hit cold ground and panted heavily. It wasn't real. It was all over. All over. He remembered the words from the Shadowhunter's Codex, realising disturbingly that he never hated Kit. He couldn't.

As in our will to love or not; in this we stand or fall.

***

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~𝔂𝓸𝓾'𝓻𝓮 𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮𝓭, 𝓭𝓸𝓷'𝓽 𝓵𝓮𝓽 𝓪𝓷𝔂𝓸𝓷𝓮 𝓽𝓮𝓵𝓵 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓸𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻𝔀𝓲𝓼𝓮~