My sexual assault story

Update of sorts

  i know its only been two days but i do still have stuff to talk about.
  First I'm gonna talk about my nightmares. So recently i have been getting more. Some have nothing to do with what happened. Others have to do with it or maybe Kyle is just there. I get them every night. I wake up really early because of them and i don't sleep till the next night. I'm not getting alot of sleep. I used to get loads. I would sleep every night and take naps most days. But now it's only at night and its not even alot.
  Second my sister knows about my nightmares and that i have thought i have seen Kyle and some other stuff I'm sure. One night my sister was talking with my grandma and she told my grandma about what happened and the nightmares and stuff. My grandma now wants to get me and my sister into therapy.
  Third, i have had the worst few days. After Wednesday with almost having a panic attack at school. It hasn't gotten any better. Thursday one of my best friends wasn't at school because she was in urgent care. I got bad anxiety for the beginning of the day. I was so quiet and just gone i guess. Like i barely talked i didn't smile much and i just constantly zoned out. My other best friend thought i was like that because of worrying for my other friend. It was part of it but not all i still was freaking out from the day before. Then yesterday i missed school because my parents couldn't get me a ride there. I wasn't complaining because yesterday was a very bad day. Me and my sister needed to clean and we were gonna wait longer but my overthinking was getting bad so we cleaned early or i was gonna have another panic attack. Then my best friend missed school she was to sick to go. Then i thought her boyfriend (who is my other best friend) was talking to me when he said you get some rest. I only thought that because i was the last to talk. But no he was only talking to his girlfriend. So i haven't talked much to them because i feel bad. Because them being my best friends I'm always around them so I'm like part of their relationship without being apart of it. So I'm trying to back off and if i don't they will hate me and stop being my friends so i have to push away from them a lot so they don't get upset.