I wanna say I'm sorry. To all the people I promised I wouldn't self harm. To the people I told I was doing better. To my therapist that I don't tell everything to.
I'm sorry that I couldn't keep up the promise that I wouldn't harm myself. It was just to tempting. Now I'm kinda addicted to the sting it gives me after, and the fact that I only put a band aid on after just because I don't like the way my clothes leave fuzzy bits on it. I'm sorry that even though it hurts and I feel so fucking guilty after wards, every time I see it or feel how much it hurts it becomes a little to tempting to do again.
I'm sorry to the people I made believe I was do better. I said that because it made you happy. That you didn't have to worry how I was doing as much anymore. That I was sleeping ok and eating ok. That maybe I was happy to be awake that day. I wasn't but I hated making you worry about me as much as I did. I hated how I probably made you feel like your walking on egg shells on my bad days. I'm sorry and I hope one day when I say I'm doing better it won't be a lie anymore.
I'm sorry to my therapist that I sometimes lie to. I know I shouldn't but you seem happy when I don't have to see you as often or when the session gets to be happier topics. I'm sorry that I don't always tell the full truth sometimes but i get scared that if I do that I'm gonna be told how bad I truly am. I'm sorry that I have gotten to comfortable being numb, it feels safer that way.
I'm just sorry to the people I plague their lives. I'm sorry that I put such a burden on you. I'm sorry that sometimes I depend on you to much. I'm sorry that I'm not trying as hard as I said that I would.
I'm tired and don't feel like trying anymore.
YOU ARE READING
My sexual assault story
Não FicçãoThis started out as my story about my sa and like recovering but its slowly becoming me just talking about other things that have happened that I can't really talk to with anyone It's not happy stuff so if you still need something sad it's still th...
