My sexual assault story

Touching

Ok so like real quick i wanna Thank everyone who actually reads this and I'm sorry this book is really long. Longer than others but i am doing more than what happened and stuff its more like I'm talking about just everything that is happening because of what happened. I guess telling people that it's not something that can just go away or like oh it over and that person is just perfectly ok like it didn't happen. I do know that there are people that aren't as traumatized as other people. Traumatic stuff effects every one differently. But enough of this on with this chapter.

    Ok so if you didn't read the picture (or can't see it) above you might be confused why this chapter is named touching. The picture says: you know what i hate? When people get pissed off when you tell them you don't want them to touch you. Like excuse me, i don't actually want you to touch my arm. I don't want a hug right now. I don't give a shit if you're family. I don't care if the phrase "i don't want to be touched" puts you off. Just don't fucking touch me.
     Sorry about the swearing i was putting word for word. Anyways i saw that on Pinterest a couple days ago and i wanted to chapter about it.
   Being touched can be a huge trigger for me sometimes. Sometimes its not a big problem. It really just depends on the day I'm having or how im feeling. There is few people that could touch me anytime without issues. But at times it can be a problem. Here is two times that i have been in a mood of i don't want to be touched.
   First my step dad. One night about a couple months ago maybe a year. He was really drunk. I just got done eating dinner and my step dad came back in the house after smoking. He wanted to give me a hug before i went back into my room. I refused multiple times. Then he started to try and force me to hug him. I ran to my room and tried to close the door. He kept pushing to open it. I was screaming for my mom to help and make him leave me alone. It took maybe almost 20 minutes before he gave up. I was so scared of him that after he left i sat on my bed shaking and crying.
  Second my sister. A few weeks ago my sister was going to bed because she had school. She wanted me to give her a hug. I refused multiple times again. While she was distracted i tried to get away to my room again. She came up behind me hugging me. She scared me that i was shaking alot.
  Both times i was forced into being touched or fight off someone because i didn't want to be. Both times i refused alot and they still didn't listen. They scared me to the point that i was crying or screaming for help, maybe both. It was terrifying that now i rarely hug or cuddle my two family members.
    I advise for family or friends that knows that a person has been through what i have been or even if they haven't. If a person says no to a hug then don't hug them or do what either of my family members did.