The Drug Dealer's Wife.

#9 - Ten Toes Down

It's been two days since Bryson's mishap and I've never been more aggravated with the situation. I've basically been at my husband's beck and call, granting him his every wish and need. Now some would say sis, this is what you're supposed to be doing, and part of me might have even agreed. But a bigger part of me was sick of his shit, especially because he was taking this whole alarming circumstance with not a fuck in the world, acting as if this was a regular occurrence. And I unfortunately was reaping all the disadvantages that came with his disgusting attitude and mindset.

I don't know if it was the pain medication my husband was taking or Bryson himself, but I was ready to throw this man off of the balcony. I understood that he must be going through it, and that being in his position wasn't easy. But in the matter of two days he's become one nagging asshole, and I constantly had to bite my tongue so I wouldn't lash out on him. I shook my head as I propped his pillows the way he liked it. I honestly don't know how much more of this shit I could tolerate.

"Nova, pour me a glass of Brandy and bring it to me." Bryson said as I fluffed one of the throw pillows to fit above his head.

"Sweetie I don't think that's such a good idea." I stated. "The doctor said..."

"Just bring me the damn drink, Nova! Jeez." Bryson snapped, interrupting me.

I flashed this man a who do you think you're talking to look and he glared back at me like you, duh. Stupid me decides to once again get him what he needs along with his favorite snacks and the television remote. He smirked at my intuition to get him more than he required and thanked me softly. Well at  least he was nicer this time.

"Hey baby, can you get me a...."

"No!" I shouted back. "No, no, hell fucking no!"

Bryson stared back me at me confused and he actually looked scared. I wasn't the one to yell, and I hardly ever acted out but the man had me ready to let loose. It was such a mixed feeling being in this state with Bryson. It's like I wanted to take care of his heart, body, soul and mind but on the other hand, I wasn't about to be abused mentally or emotionally. Nah, not this bitch right here.

I had had it with his complaining and whining. This wasn't even his personality. He was the one to fix shit, and be all boss like. I didn't even know who this man was anymore and I certainly didn't like who he was becoming.

"Oh baby this shit stops right here." I said calmly. "Bryson, honey I know you're in a lot of pain. And I honestly hate that you are. I would do anything to relieve and help you. But this miserable, harassing man has got to go. You're better than this. Baby, you're the man, period. And you don't stay down after a turmoil. You're too much of a boss for that. So I'll help you get your ass up, we'll call your physical therapist, and we'll bounce back from this situation. Together."

Bryson nodded and I assisted my husband the most that I could until afternoon when the physical therapist came. I was most grateful for Dr. Kuhlin for getting Bryson out of my hair for the next couple of hours but even successfully completing all the tasks I had business wise couldn't stop this guilt that I was feeling. I didn't mean to be harsh to Bryson, patience is a huge aspect of being married. But was I selfish for needing a break from him? Was I wrong for wanting to get back out there in the field and find more contacts? This was all so confusing sometimes.

I sat by the pool marinating my thoughts and trying to find some conclusion. Bryson was adamant on getting back to being his best self and added a couple more hours of therapy, leaving me alone for the remaining of the day. I was proud of him, for he was making significant progress. I had watched him for a little while earlier, struggling and then finding his way. His strength was amazing, and I was glad I could call someone like him mine.

"Here."

I glanced up to see my husband towering down over me. He eventually sat down next to me by our pool and handed me over a glass of my favorite red wine. I smiled at his gesture and we sat there for a couple of moments listening to the different sounds of our surroundings. Although there was a quiet between us, it didn't feel awkward. It was a stress relief in a way, for we were both absorbing our thoughts and being contented with ourselves, together.

"I love you Nova." Bryson murmured.

I looked over at my husband and grabbed his hand, entwining my fingers with his. "I love you too, Bryson."

"Thank you for putting me in check. And I'm sorry for all the pain that I've caused you. You know it only hit me when I was in therapy that you too must be going through it with me. I tend to forget that I have you by my side sometimes, and that I have someone who's going to forever have my back. Baby, I gotta do better. And I know I keep on saying that, but I'm serious. No more slacking. You mean everything to me. And I know now that I can't keep on living life this haphazardly. Man, I want kids someday, with you of course. And I wanna be able to watch them grow up and teach them the things that my father couldn't teach me, you know?" Bryson said.

All the anger I was feeling towards this man was melting away. I hated how he could just slide in and make it all better. I was a sucker for him, and I wasn't ashamed to say it. He could make the bad times disappear by just speaking, the man truly had a gift. Damn, I loved me some Bryson Harding.

"We just need to work on us. And you need to work on you." I said. "The company and business you keep has always been sketchy, you know it. I want those things too, Bryson. Kids, better days. But you need to really, I mean, really want that too. I don't even wanna think about something happening to you. I was scared shit at that hospital. I was all over the place, and that's not a feeling that I wanna experience ever again. I know you're going to do whatever it takes to get that area for your brother. As you should. But I need you to think about me during your process of it all, and not only how your actions are gonna affect your wife, but your mother. B, we care about you. Please do better."

Bryson leaned over to kiss my forehead, then my cheeks, and then my lips afterwards. "You deserve the best, and nothing less. Come with me, I gotta surprise for you."

The word surprise normally puts me in an exceptionally happy mood, especially a surprise coming from Bryson. He just knew me so well, and he was one of those men who actually listened and took the initiative when necessary. And this surprise was no different. Bryson guided me to one of our safe rooms in the house, and my eyes landed on a silver Cuban link chain and a huge diamond ring.

"You know the color silver is associated with prestige and wealth." Bryson said. "It is seen as a glamorous, sophisticated color related to female energy, prosperity and modernity. Silver restores equilibrium and stability to both feminine power and spiritual energy. And well, you already know diamonds are a girl's best friend. I wanted you to have these gifts so you could see how magical I think you are. Baby girl, you're absolutely breathtaking, and I don't tell you that enough. Nova, you've held me down more than I thought you ever would, you ain't ever fold even when I gave you many reasons to. Whenever you make a decision, I could tell I'm included in your choice. I've been out here wilding, trying to honor my brother and make a name for his legacy, but I should have really been giving you the up most credit. Woman, I love you. Don't forget it."

I laughed at the last line in Bryson's speech and squealed excitedly as he placed the chain on my neck and ring on my finger. Well this day definitely took a turn for the better, and as I pulled my husband in for a hug, I could tell he was really trying, and that's what was important to me. The effort.

"You're my lil rider, baby." Bryson said smiling. "I'll love you forever."