Lost Souls (Book 2)

Part 36

I'm sorry this is a long chapter. Honestly this has been in my laptop for quite some time. I wrote, delete, rewrite and delete and after so many version, here it is. Enjoy the song.

Magnus noticed how lonely his life get without Alec in it. He went home that day with heaviness in his heart, not too mention how cold Rafe being towards him. They both sat down at the dinner table, not a conversation heard only the sound of cutlery clanking to the plate. Mary was so kind to prepare their favorite dinner for them, steaks with mashed potatoes and steam vegetable, mushroom soup and garlic bread - Rafe's favorite.

"You don't have to go to school tomorrow if you don't feel like it Rafe." Magnus started after haunting silenced they both kept at the tables. "Hm." Rafe answered not bothered to look up at his father. He kept his eyes at the plate in front of him poking in the steak with his fork, he couldn't find his appetite to finish his meal. "Rafe." Magnus called but he ignored him like usual. "Rafe." Magnus tried to reach his hand for him but Rafe rejected and pulled his hand away and placed them on his lap. Magnus sighed upon his gesture gave up on trying to console his son.

"I'm not hungry." Rafe stood dragging his chair backward as he leave the table not until Magnus' voice heard made him stopped at his track. "He's gone Rafe, he chose to leave us, I didn't do anything." Rafe sighed letting his back faced his father, "No dad, you're right about one thing. You didn't-do-anything. That's why he left."

Rafe tried to leave the table again but Magnus slammed his fist down shaking the whole table. "Don't you dare say that! I am your father! You-listen to ME!" Magnus voice sound harsh but he was already at the edge of losing himself. "Then who's gonna listen to me? Listen to what I need?" Rafe looked at his father staring down at his miserable self. He wonder if one day he would love someone that much he would lose himself too. "My happiness counts too you know. I am so tired Rafe, you have to understand that something just aren't meant to be fixed."

Magnus soften his voice sinking slowly on his chair, he gripped his hair in his fist hoping it would take the headache away but his tears keep pressuring more.

Rafe turned and looked at his father, miserable, hopeless and lost, he shouldn't be so hard on him since its hurting him more than he felt hurt himself for what happen. He slowly walked back to his side and placed his palm on his father's shoulder and slowly Magnus released his hand and looked to his side. Rafe looked deep into his red eyes that filled with tears and it fell on his cheek, he cupped his father's cheek with his small palm stroked his thumb to wipe his tear away.

"I miss him too." Rafe said and Magnus pulled him for a hug before sobbing his heart out. "I'm sorry daddy." He whispered in Magnus' ear as they continued their hugs and Magnus nodded not able to say any word. He pulled back and looked at his son, whom now on his lap looking at him, waiting for him to say anything. "Just you and me buddy, we only need each other, its enough." Magnus said and Rafe couldn't say anything else that might hurt him more so he just nodded, "I love you daddy." He said and Magnus smiled a forceful smile, "I love you too bud."

Later, Magnus carried Rafe in his arm up to his room. They both slept together in Magnus' room that night to loosen the feeling of loneliness in their heart. Alec might be a great part of him but a big part of him is his son. He'll move on, he had too for his son sake.

~~~o~~~

"Alec has been sleeping for hours, shouldn't we wake him?" Jace said pacing around the hall with his finger pressed on his lower lip and his arm folded closed to his chest. Since Alec got home, he had stayed in his room and said he needed to be alone so they let him. Maryse told Jace and Isabelle everything that happened with Robert added few sides of Alec's story in it. "Leave him Jace, he need his space." Izzy warned him but he couldn't stay at ease and kept pacing.