Finding Myself {Completed}

**Chapter 40**

"Good morning!" Berryl and I yell at the same time when we walk into the living room after we finally get out of bed to find Hanson and Andrew sitting behind the television.

"Did you guys sleep at all?" Berryl asks.

"Yeah, maybe." Answers my brother amidst laughter.

"Good morning beautiful." Hanson places a kiss on my forehead as I sit next to him on the couch. I give him a hug and focus on the television.

"Mom says, Dr Samantha scheduled your meeting at eleven this morning." Andrew remarks as he and I wash the dishes after eating breakfast with Berryl and Hanson.

"Oh, okay." I respond. I take in a deep breathe and try to focus on cleaning the dishes.

"Are you okay, sis?" Andrew takes my hand. I can see the worry in his eyes.

"I am gonna be okay." I give him a quick smile and turn away. He pulls me in for a hug and I break down in tears. I have been trying to look strong but the pressure building up within me is truly taking a toll on my mental health.

I am only happy and grateful that the people who love me are constantly keeping me from falling down the cliff every time I get to the edge.

"Okay, let me go and get dressed up. Would have to leave home soon." I plant a kiss on his cheeks and walk away.

~~~~~•••••~~~~~
"Want us to go with you?" Hanson asks as I am about to leave home for Dr. Samantha's.

"No, no." I quickly respond.

"You sure?"

"Pretty sure. Have a nice day guys...and Andrew take then to 'Stacy's' so they can enjoy a good meal."

Stacy's is the best restaurant we have in town.

"Alright, see you guys later in the day." With that I step out into the day —alone with my thoughts.

I hop onto the train heading towards the hospital and pick a window seat. I close my eyes in pain as I feel the pressure in my chest begin to rise. I have been feeling constantly on edge and nervous since the nightmares started. My head feels very light and my eyes burn constantly.

I close my eyes and begin to relive the days when I was sick and felt depressed. The fear of being alone, the suicidal thoughts, the angry feelings all come crushing on me. I do not want to go through that again.

I wipe the tear that falls from my eyes.

It hurts too much

~~~~~~~
"Hi." I say to the receptionist as I walk in. She smiles in response.

"I have an appointment with Dr. Samantha."

"You must be Kayley. She has been expecting you. You can go inside." She points me to Dr. Samantha's office.

"Come on in." Doctor Samantha says as I knock on her door.

"Hey, Kayley."

"Hey, Doc." I give her my best smile.

"Why don't you take a seat. Let us begin."

A/n
Happy Reading!