Finding Myself {Completed}

HANSON

And that was when I saw her. She was standing by a grave, with a blank expression in her eyes as she gripped on the flowers in her hand. She looked very hurt like whoever had died meant so much to her.

Unfortunately, I knew what that felt like. I watched for a few seconds as she kneeled in front of the grave and broke down in tears. I couldn't just watch her cry like that so I decided to approach her.

"eeerrmm, Hi."

She turned around quickly and while wiping her tears with the sleeve of her shirt responded, "hi".
"I am so sorry for your loss" I say not knowing what better words to tell her.
She smiled at me tearfully.
"That is my dad, he died a few years ago and I come here every year to honor his memory. He was a really good man. You lost someone too?"
"Yeah, my mom. She died a few weeks ago. Does the pain ever go away? " I ask as I feel my heart begin to pound harder on my chest.
Why did the ones we loved the most have to die?
"Honestly, it doesn't get easier, we only learn to raise above the pain and hold on to their memory as time goes by. You would miss them everyday but well, life goes on. "  She turns and stares at the grave blankly.
As if snapped out a trance, she stares at me, smiles so brightly, extends her hand for a handshake and says,  "Anyway, my name is Allison."

That was how our friendship begun. We became the best of friends. We would spend the whole day together getting to know each other. She became my rock and anytime I would get sad because I missed my mom, she would cheer me up in the most beautiful ways ever.
Soon enough, everyone in my family knew who Allison was. She would spend diner nights with us, offer to do the dishes and even sleep over. She had become a part of our family.
It was very hard not to fall in love with such a beautiful and kindhearted lady and that is exactly what I did- I fell in love.

It took me a while to build the courage but I eventually told her how I felt. It was so surreal when she looked into my eyes and said she felt the same way too. The joy I felt that day can not be described in words. I felt like a child as she wrapped me in her arms and told me she loved me over and over again with tears in her eyes.
We had each other and that was all that mattered.

When I told my family over dinner that night, they were very excited. I could have sworn that I saw a smile form on my dads lips. Truth be told, he wasn't okay. He was still grieving and he had barely said a word to us since the burial. We understood him perfectly but it had been six months since moms death. For how long was he going to shut Hannah and I out?

Whenever I would hurt about my dad shutting Hannah and I out, I would speak to Allison and she would say the right words just to help me understand my father and consider his pain. She truly was the best anyone could ask for.

I think I became so dependent on her and assumed she could never do anything to hurt me so you can imagine how broken I was,  when I saw her kiss someone in front of her apartment.
I had decided to give her a surprise visit but I received the surprise of my life.
I am not one to confront people who hurt me so all I did was make sure that she saw that I had seen them and then I jumped into my car and drove off with my heart shattered into pieces.

Why did life have to be so complicated?

For two months I didn't call her and neither did she. I understood why I didn't call her but why she never called to explain, I would never understand! 
After helping myself to heal partly, I got the courage to face her again. I just needed to know what happened to us.  So I called her.

"Hello" hearing her voice brought back all the pain.
"Hello?" she said again.
"Hi, it's me, Hanson."
She sighed upon hearing my name.
"I am so so sorry Hanson.  I am really really sorry.  I....  I.. didn't mean to hurt you. "
"Why did you never call me?" I asked, trying to keep my cool.
"I was too afraid to call you. I was ashamed and after you also didn't call for a while, I thought you hated me"
After staying silent for a while, I asked, "who was he?"
"My ex... We broke up a few months before I met you and seeing him there after a while we ended up talking and one thing led to another and... "
"... You kissed " I ended for her
"I am so sorry Hanson.  I couldn't help it. I really love him..."
That broke me apart.  All this while I was in love with this girl who wasn't really in love with me.
"So, did you ever love me?" I asked.
"I...  I don't Know Hanson."
"let me make it easy for you. You never  really loved me..." I heard her try to say something but I continued anyway
"...but it's okay. I am gonna be okay. Have a good life Allison."
With that, I ended the call and broke down. I remembered how it felt to loose my mom and now I had lost the love of my life- or so I thought.

Since that day,  I vowed never to speak of Alison again. It was such a sore spot. No one at home was even to speak about her or mention her name. I know. It felt childish but I had to do what I had to do to get over her.

I was soon to realize that I was my own source of happiness and no one could love me more than I did myself.

A/N
Hope you guys are enjoying the story so far. This ends Hanson's flashback.
Next one is Berry's flashback.

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