Finding Myself {Completed}

**Chapter 28**

It's been a week since I arrived at-home and nothing really interesting has happened so far.  Hanson and I talk every night and I even spoke to Hannah yesternight. They seem to be enjoying their vacation.

I decide to spend the day with my self today to do a little bit of reflection. Hanson taught us to be happy with being alone and being with our thoughts. Truth is, I fear what the silence would reveal to me but, I must face my demons. With that, I take my bath, dress in comfy jeans and a long sleeved shirt and boots and step out of the house.

As I stroll along the street, I plug in my earpiece and begin to play songs from my country playlist.  I have songs from Florida Georgia line, Luke Combs, Brett Young and so many others. Music surely does a good job of calming my mind.

As I watch the people go about their business and interact with each other, I can not help but wonder what it all means. After all the hustle and bustle, what do we stand to gain? Is there truly a purpose to all this? I do not know to what extent I can answer these questions but I hope that the question was just the beginning the answer.

I find a seat in a secluded portion of the park in my neighborhood. It so happens to be very quiet and empty today. It's funny how I have never taken advantage of this place until today. With my eyes locked on the tree before me, I send my mind down memory lane to the day I was kidnapped. It feels super scary but I know that I have still not healed completely because every time I come to this point, I run away.

I close my eyes and begin to feel the sun. The pain of loosing a part of my childhood to depression, the pain of my family almost breaking apart because of the incident comes crashing on me and for the first time, I allow myself to feel it. I am not running away because if there is one thing I have learnt, it is that, what you run away from runs after you.
There is nothing fun about the pain I am feeling but I allow myself to feel it anyway. I decide to head back home after spending more than an hour here. I get off my seat. I smile to myself.
I couldn't be happier.
Hanson was right, being alone is truly not bad after all.

A/n
To anyone hurting or running away from what they truly feel:
The key to moving on is to accept and admit how you truly feel especially to yourself.
The second key is to allow yourself feel all those feelings.
It truly gets better.

Love you allllllllllllllllll.
Happy Reading