My Favorite Camren One-Shots (Part 2)

I'm Happy It Happened

Camila’s P.O.V.

I can only figure out one thing for certain based on Lauren’s body language and that’s when she’s nervous. It’s not that I don’t know Lauren inside and out, it’s just that I’ve purposely put in extra thought towards detecting when she’s uncomfortable because I’m completely convinced that practically everything I do is the cause. Her twiddling thumbs and darting eyes are a dead give away though, and I definitely don’t need great analytical skills to come up with that.

“Come sit beside me. You’re so far away.” Lauren gestures towards the empty spot beside herself on the swaying beige hammock. I used to love sitting next to her on this very hammock in complete silence because silence had been enough for us. As I take the seat, a surge of nostalgia runs through my body and the memory of lazy summer nights spent together replays in my mind; nights where I would soak up Lauren’s warmth and she would wallow in mine.

Should I feel this incompetent? My girlfriend of almost two years is slowly gathering the courage to break up with me and all I can manage to do is stare into the distance where autumn leaves are falling off limp trees and onto sad, brown grass. I’m desperately hoping she will say what she needs to.

“Camila… I need to tell you something. I really need you to be listening though, you seem like you aren’t right now.” She mutters while grabbing my hand. Her sudden need to physically be linked to me makes me direct my attention to her, I immediately search for any sign of regret in her glazed emerald eyes; I don’t find any. In fact I see almost a flash of pity and that really confirms it for me. We’re done.

“I know you need to tell me something, Lo. You brought me here. Don’t you remember? This is where we came when you first told me you loved me, or when you gave me that promise ring last July. We even came here on the night before my birthday, you wanted to sleep under the stars until midnight so the first thing I could witness as an eighteen year old was beauty. Maybe you thought the stars were the beauty I would first witness, but the only beauty I could ever want to witness; the beauty I was already witnessing was you. We’ve had so many firsts here. Now we’re about to establish a world of lasts.” I wanted to take back the words as soon as they exited my mouth but I knew it was entirely too late for that. Now that the damage is halfway done and lingering in the pungent air, I might as well take a final plunge into the deep end. I press my lips hard against Lauren’s before she has a chance to respond. I just want to taste her before it all ends so if truth and heartache comes with a taste that was once familiar, well that’s just a risk I’ll have to take.

For a second she doesn’t kiss back, but then I feel her lips move rhythmically against mine. I would give up anything to just have a glimpse inside her mind at this moment. As my heart beats erratically in my chest because of the contact, I can almost guarantee hers isn’t even thumping but instead is beating regularly, maybe even calmly. She parts her lips and allows me to slip my tongue into her mouth and I instantly resist the urge to moan into the kiss. The sensation of her hands sliding beneath my sweater and skimming over bare skin is unacceptably addicting. I fight against the desire to deepen the kiss and tear my lips away before she takes hold of whatever is left of me.

“I love you. I think I always will in a way. I just want you to know that I don’t need an explanation.” I whisper, resting my forehead against hers. She brings her hands up to the nape of my neck, tangling her fingers in my hair. I can’t help but to close my eyes and indulge in it. It’s not a lie that I’m in love with Lauren and of course I’m itching to know the reason why she doesn’t feel the same anymore, but I need what we shared to die peacefully more than I could ever wantanything else in the world.

“I love you too, Camz. I do. You don’t have to believe me and I don’t really expect you to but I promise you that’s always going to be the truth. Unfortunately, love isn’t enough and it never will be but it’s the closest thing anyone could ever have to magic; to happiness. You made me happy and I don’t ever want you to doubt that.” Lauren wholeheartedly replies and pecks my lips before pulling away. I’m glad she doesn’t get up and leave but swings her arm around me instead, cuddling into me on the hammock that has remained swaying. I’m not exactly ready to walk away from this and never look back, so we’ll sit for awhile; until the shadows of the night sky cast above us and the stars make a twinkling appearance.

The next few minutes are spent in absolute silence and I think we’re both taking note of what’s around us to store away for recollection. These will be the type of memories we’ll associate with importance, delicacy, and love. The sort of memories that are reminders of all the captivating experiences life is to be filled with. Closing my eyes and realizing that this might be the very last time I ever fall asleep in Lauren’s arms, sadness isn’t what washes over me; contentment is. Because I’m undeniably happy that we happened and the last page of my love story is a beautiful one.