Doctor & Nurse

Chapter 23

My eyes snap open, maybe it was all an awful nightmare that diagnosis that I received yesterday. My eyes feel heavy from the mental exhaustion as reality pours back to me, imagines float through my mind like a silent movie, Tobias and I sitting in a doctor's office with a mess of syringes, learning how to properly draw up insulin, learning how to count carbohydrates. Tears wet my cheeks as the imagines continue to come. My life is over as I knew it. I need to accept that, but I don't want to. I don't want to have to prick my finger before eating, or take insulin before eating. My chest fills with jealousy as I think about everyone else my age, and how easy they have it. I want to be like them. Why can't I have a normal functioning pancreas again? Why me?

Tobias gently knocks on the doorframe, bringing my attention to him, disturbing my inner turmoil. His eyes meet mine, and as if he can read my mind, he says quietly, "You okay?" I don't answer him as I pull my legs up to my chest as he comes further into the room, "I made breakfast for us."

"Thanks, but I don't want it," I say as I lay back down, turn over, and I pull the covers up to my chin, trying to hide from the world.

Tobias sighs, "You need to eat."

"I don't want food," I yell at him. Tobias sits on the bed, he cradles me into his arms against his chest as he says, "I know your life was turned upside down yesterday, but please eat for me."

"Fine," I groan as I stomp out of the room. Tobias pushes a plate of scrambled eggs and fruit at me. I stare at him with my arms crossed, my bottom lip pushed out at him, pouting. I feel like being a child today. I don't feel like being an adult. Tobias looks at me, his arms crossed as I roll my eyes at him. He raises his eyebrow, something like you looking for a fight today? I don't want to fight him today over lack of eating. I want to rebel against the unfairness of the world. I push my lip further out at him, trying to get him to break his idea of attempting to get me to eat the breakfast that he prepared for me. He smirks at me as he says, "If you continue to push your bottom lip out at me, I might bite it." I feel my cheeks heat at his response. I push the plate towards him as he pushes the plate towards me once again, murmuring, "Please."

"Thank for making me breakfast, but no thank you," I smirk at him as I get up, walk away from the table. I hear behind me, "Tris, please."

I glance behind me. Tobias has a hurt expression playing across his face as I walk to the cabinet, grab a box of Captain Crunch. The cereal belongs to Christina. I stuff a spoonful into my mouth from the box. The sugary berry mix tastes delicious. Tobias's expression turns to one, I can't read as he asks, "Tris, did you test your blood sugar this morning?"

"No," I smirk with a mouthful of cereal, knowing the argument my answer will cause.

His tone unhappy as he asks, "Want to tell me why?" I don't look at him as I answer, "Because I don't feel like it." I say bracing for the argument to come. His fist clenches as he says, his voice tight, fighting to remain in control, "You need to. There is no answer, no, or I don't feel like it. You should know full well what the repercussion of what not taking care of yourself are. Should I name a few for you? Loss of eyesight, loss of limbs, dialysis, infection." His voice deep commanding as he flexes his fingers, gripping onto the table, his knuckles turn white.

I gulp, not sure if I should continue to play with the fire that is Dr. Tobias Eaton. I might get burned as I say, "Oh please, Negative Nancy. Those things won't happen to me."

"That is what everyone says until they are going into surgery," Tobias says angrily.

"I don't need to do anything. You aren't my father."

"No, I'm not. I'm just your boyfriend. The guy who wants to spend the rest of his life with you, the person who loves you most in the world." He says as he stands from the table with his plate. I stare at him as he walks away, he turns around, glancing at me as he whispers, "Please Tris, if you don't care enough about yourself right now, not to take care of yourself, then at least take your insulin for me. I can't imagine my life without you."