Stay With Me {KTH FF}

2am

It was going to be a very long, sleepless night. I changed into shorts and a tank top, and sat on the bed, leaning back on my pillow with a sigh. There is no way I'm going to fall asleep with that man in a room across the hall. No way.

~🌺~

I sat there, wondering when I was going to actually wake and see that this was really all just a dream. Because it has to be. There is no way this can be happening. Taehyung was not here, the rest of BTS hadn't been here... I'm just having a dream, the best damn dream ever.

I heard the bathroom door close... and a few minutes later, open again. I bit my bottom lip. Okay, so I'm just going to sit here like this until morning.

I closed my eyes, and thought back... they hugged me, every one of them hugged me. I never wanted to forget how each of their hugs felt. It was magical...

I felt sleepy, but I knew with everything going thru my head, I wouldn't fall asleep. I'd just sit here with my eyes closed and wait for it to be morning.

~🌻~

I opened my eyes suddenly, and looked at the clock. It was 2am. I must have dozed off.

But I heard something. Or did I?

I listened, but there was nothing. I must be imagining things.

I closed my eyes again, but then I heard the softest knock on my door, almost as if I wasn't supposed to hear it. I got up hesitantly, and went to the door, opening it a little.

He was standing there, perfect as could be in his blue silk pajamas. He looked at me and pouted.

"Are you okay? Do you need something?" I asked.

"I can't sleep." He frowned. "I'm not used to sleeping alone."

Oh my, it's really true.

I looked at him...and stupidly said "how can I help?"

That was brilliant, Shae

"Can I sleep with you?"

I blinked...and swallowed, trying to relieve the dryness my mouth was suddenly feeling, but it didn't work.

"Um, I don't know if that's a good idea, I'm kinda wild in bed..."

He raised an eyebrow at me.

Stupid, stupid, stupid...what the hell are you saying

"Oh, no, oh my God, I didn't mean that the way it sounded."

I covered my face with my hands, never having been so embarrassed.

"W...what I mean is, I toss and turn alot, and t...take up the whole bed..."

Nice recovery, but he doesn't look like he's buying it, not to mention you're full of shit, you sleep like a log.

He shrugged his shoulders, and turned to walk away. He was just about to his door...

"V?"

He turned back. "Hm?"

What the hell are you thinking, woman...

I took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly.

"Come on, before I change my mind." I had no idea what I was doing.

He smiled and turned to follow me into my room.

"I promise I stay on my own side, I just like having someone next to me when I sleep."

"Ok."

I laid on my side of the bed, but didn't pull the covers up, it was too warm, in more ways then one. I turned so my back was to him, because what I wanted to do was face him, and watch him, and that was a bad idea.

I closed my eyes, and prayed for sleep, so I could get rid of the thoughts in my head.

"Thank you." He mumbled.

"Your welcome" I said without looking at him.

~🌼~

I tried to turn, but couldn't. Something was holding me, and I couldn't move. My eyes snapped opened. V was behind me, right up against me, his arm around me. His head was against the back of mine, his nose pressed to the back of my neck.

I felt a chill run down my spine, and a warmth take over my chest, all at the same time.

Oh no, oh no, what do I do? How do I move without waking him up?

You really don't wanna move, do you Shae? You just wanna lay here and pretend that this is normal, and perfectly ok.

But it's not okay, it's really not. I'm too old for him, for fucks sake. I don't need any more inappropriate thoughts working their way into my brain than what is already there.

I tried to gently twist myself out from under his arm so I could get up, but he just tightened his hold and moved as if he were trying to get closer...pulling me against him tighter. I could feel his hips against my backside, and something else...

Dear God, please don't send me to hell. I promise, I will get myself out of this situation. Love Shae

He wiggled again, and I sucked in a breath as his lips touched the back of my neck.

Dear God, never mind, hell will be worth it. Sincerely, Shae

I could feel him breathing on the back of my neck, and I shivered. I had to get up. But I didn't want to get up. I wanted to just stay right where I was, and enjoy it.

But you shouldn't be enjoying it...he could be your son for God's sake.

But he's not my son...and none of this was my doing. I have nothing to feel guilty about. Besides, it means nothing, he just doesn't like sleeping alone, he likes having something to hold. It's all just an innocent...back hug.

"You smell good..."

I jumped when he spoke.

"You...ah... didn't keep your p-promise." I stuttered.

"How's that?"

"You promised you would stay on your s...side of the bed."

I tried again, unsuccessfully, to move from under his arm. He held tight.

"I am on my side of bed. It's you who moved."

As he said it, I slowly realized what he was saying was true. There was plenty of room in front of me...

He hadn't moved closer to me... I had somehow moved closer to him.

"I need the bathroom." I said, quickly grabbing his wrist and lifting his arm so I could get out of bed and leave the room.

Once in the bathroom, I splashed my face with cold water. I could still feel the length of his body pressed up against mine...my face felt warm, despite the cold water.

I decided to get a quick shower, and give him time to leave my room. Ten minutes later, I had dried off and grabbed the robe hanging on the back of the door.

I didn't know what to do. What was going thru his mind? Should I ask him? I'm so confused. Why did he appear unbothered. Why was he not trying to avoid any inappropriate contact.

I groaned.

I don't think I can survive this, because he has made me realize how much I miss being held by a man. It's been so, so long... God help me, what do I do?