Stay With Me {KTH FF}

I need you

What? What is he saying?

~🌺~

I looked at him, thinking he didn't know what he was saying.

"I think you might be confused" I said quietly.

"I'm not confused. I meant what I said."

"I don't know what's happening..." I  mumbled, putting my head down on the table.

"You were confessing your...undying love to me..."

I turned my head and looked at him...he was smiling cutely.

Please stop, my heart cannot take this...

I really didn't even know what to say. He took a drink of his orange juice. Then he looked serious again.

"I think you are feeling like I can't have feelings for you because you are older then me."

"You can't have feelings for me...because there is a beautiful young girl out there somewhere, just waiting for you to be her prince. Besides, you hardly know me."

"Maybe, but right now, I'm here, and maybe I'd like to get to know you better."

I wasn't sure what he was trying to say, and my heart couldn't handle any games. It was his first full day being here, and I didn't know how long he planned to stay, but I didn't want it to be any more awkward then it already was. I wanted to enjoy this time while he was here.

"Can we just forget this whole conversation ever happened?" I asked hopefully.

"Only if I can ask you, ah...to do me a...favor?" 

He looked at me questioningly, unsure if it was the right word. I nodded.

"Sure, if I can"

"Can you teach me?"

I looked at him, confused.

"Teach you...what?"

"Teach me how to..." He looked at his glass, then back at me, "make love."

Holy mother of God he did not just say that, he did not just ask me to...

Wait... did he say...teach him...surely he has...oh my God, it can't really be true...can it?

My mouth was opened, trying to form words, but I could not, for the life of me, put a sentence together.

He was still looking at me, and he did not look like he was joking. 

I swallowed. He had to be joking.

Right?

"C...could you r..repeat t..that please?" 

It was all I could think of to say.

"I'm sure you've seen the media shots about me being a virgin..."

I would never in a million years have believed any of that was true.

"Well, yeah, b...but I didn't think it was true. I mean, you're so..." 

There's no other word for it, so just spit it out. 

"Sexy...and stuff."

He shrugged his shoulders. "It's truth."

I could only look at him in disbelief. How...

"Why?" 

My hand shot up to cover my mouth.

Oh my God, did I just say that out loud?

"I'm sorry"

He smiled and looked at his hands.

"It's okay, I don't mind telling why. It's easy answer... It's because I never met a girl yet that made me want to give that part of myself away."

And I didn't think he could get any more perfect. My heart was melting, and I was not going to let him lose that gift to me, no matter how much I wanted it.

"I'm not that girl either, V." I said slowly.

I felt weird calling him V now, because I didn't feel like I was talking to an idol anymore, I was talking to a man who was sharing a part of himself with me that he didn't have to.

"Is it okay if I call you Taehyung, or would that be inappropriate?"

He raised an eyebrow at me. 

"Why would you think it inappropriate?"

"Because I know you have different ways of addressing people in Korea, honorifics, and I don't want to offend you."

"We aren't in Korea. I wouldn't force my customs on you. Taehyung is fine."

I smiled at him, then looked away, because my heart was hurting for this precious man. Not because I thought he was hurting, but because I knew there were so many girls, or even women my age, who would have taken advantage of his request for all the wrong reasons. It scared me to think that it could still happen.

He didn't ask other girls, he asked you...and if you turn him down, there will be someone else out there who doesn't.

He had gotten quiet, and was rubbing his finger up and down the side of his glass.

"Taehyung?" 

He looked up and smiled. 

"Why me?" I asked him.

"Because your the first girl I've met who makes me feel like you aren't just trying to be with me because I'm an idol. And because I think your lonely, and you just want to feel wanted. And because I like you. A lot."

There were tears in my eyes, and I didn't want them to fall, but they did, and I couldn't stop them.

He got up and came to me, grabbing my hand and making me stand, then he turned me and put his arms around me, and held me, making me cry even harder. Because he was right. I was lonely. I had been lonely for a very long time.

I don't know how long I stood there crying, my arms trapped between us, my hands on his chest, his arms holding me close, but I could have stayed there forever. I felt his chin on top of my head, and I tilted my head back slightly, then I felt his fingers under my chin, as he tilted my face up so that I was looking at him...and I sucked in a breath as he rubbed his thumb along my bottom lip. 

I shivered involuntarily.

"Will you at least think about it?"

I nodded.

And you know that it is the only thing you are going to be able to think about from now on.