Stay With Me {KTH FF}

Jimin

He started to speak, and I watched as the words appeared on the screen, wondering what was going to happen when Taehyung woke up, and came down to find Jimin here. Would he be angry, or glad to see him?

~🌺~

Jimin continued talking for a minute, then motioned for me to read.

I looked at the screen, reading the words that had appeared there.

'I don't want to make you or Taehyung upset, but I couldn't sleep well last night because I was worried. Namjoon asked if I wanted to take the car and come here to talk to you both. The others are just having a day of resting, so I decided to do it.'

"I'm worried too Jimin, but I don't know what to do."

He nodded, not needing to read what I'd said. He started speaking again, and I waited until he was done to read, watching different emotions cross his face as he spoke.

'Taehyung has a heart of gold, and he hates to see anyone hurting. I think sometimes, he thinks he can heal everyone's pain. He's the best person I know. I'm not sure what's going on between you two, besides the obvious, but I can see that Tae cares about you a lot. He's going to have a hard time when we leave. I think it will affect him greatly.'

I read the words in front of me, tears filling my eyes as I tried to think of how to reply. I didn't want Taehyung to hurt. I handed him back the phone, and I tried to speak without emotion, but I couldn't, and tears fell once again as I spoke.

'Jimin, I don't want Taehyung to be hurt, ever, but I can't lie, I don't want to lose him. I know its going to happen, and there's nothing I can do to stop it. My heart hurts at the thought of him leaving. He has brought me more happiness then I have ever known. I've never loved like I love Tae, and I know I'm being selfish when I say I want him to stay with me as long as he can, because sending him back with you would probably be the best thing for him, so he could start focusing on what's important... and forget about me." 

My voice caught in my throat as I said those words. 

"I know BTS is his life, and I know he couldn't make it without all of you...but I don't know if i can make it without him." 

I was crying harder now, not able to stop.

He had read what I was saying as I spoke, and almost as soon as I finished, he was up, coming to me, motioning me to get up. He put his arms around me, and hugged me, as I cried into his shoulder.

After a momemt of being in his embrace, I suddenly felt him tense up a bit.

"Taehyung..."

I looked up at him, and he was looking behind me.

I turned, and Taehyung was standing there, tears rolling down his face, obviously having heard what I said. 

Jimin took my hand, and walked to him, then placed my hand in Tae's, and turned, going back to the table, sitting down, but watching us.

Taehyung pulled me close, leaning his forehead against mine, looking into my eyes. 

"neo eobs-ineun sal su eobs-eo."

"Taehyung, I don't know what-"

He placed a finger over my lips.

"I know," he whispered. 

"I'm so sorry, I never meant to make you cry. I feel like I'm causing you to hurt, and I don't want to do that. I think I should go back with Jimin now." 

His tears had stopped suddenly, and he had a hard look on his face. I was still crying, and wasn't about to stop now. 

"I'll go upstairs and get my things."

He walked away, leaving me standing there, tears rolling down my face. He was leaving.

I saw Jimin get up from the corner of my eye.

"I'll go talk to him. You should sit." 

He took my hand, and led me to the chair he had been sitting in, and I sat as he walked away to find Taehyung.

My eyes hurt from crying, and I wiped them, trying to stop the tears. It's not like he was going to stay forever. I should have been ready for this. I shouldn't be letting it effect me so much.

Jimin's phone was on the table in front of me, still on the translate screen. I glanced at it, my breath catching when I saw the last thing it had translated. 

'I can't live without you.'

I didn't understand. Was this what he'd said to me? 

I heard them coming, and I stood up just as they walked back into the room.

Taehyung had his knapsack over his shoulder, and looked...blank. Jimin looked worried, but he looked at me, and gave me a smile that looked almost... hopeful?

Was he hopeful that Tae would be okay, or that I would be okay? Because I was never going to be okay.

Tae dropped his bag on the floor, and walked up to me, taking my hands in his. 

"I really am sorry, I hope you can forgive me someday." 

He kissed me on the forehead, then let go of my hands and turned to walk away, grabbing his bag and disappearing. I heard the door open and close, and I was trying so hard not to cry again.

Jimin came up to me, looking at me apologetically. 

"I'm sorry."

I shook my head. It wasn't his fault. Maybe this was better.

But it wasn't. 

"It'll be okay," he said, picking up his phone, and looking at it, then looking at me. 

He knew I had seen the translation. He had a slight smile on his face. Had he wanted me to see it? 

He hugged me. 

"It was nice to meet you, Shae. I will see you next U.S. show." 

He waved, and walked away. 

I heard the door again, opening and closing. 

They were gone. 

A few minutes later I saw the van driving away down the road, and watched it till I couldn't see it anymore. 

My legs gave out, and I ended up on the floor in my kitchen, crying uncontrollably. 

I don't know what time I had collapsed there on the cool tile, 8:30am, maybe... 

But I didn't move from that spot on the floor again until after 2 o'clock in the afternoon, and then, only because I needed the bathroom.