Give me you | Markhyuck NCT

accepted

A/N The fucking double meaning. That's all that needs to be said.

Mark walked home that day with a heavy heart. He couldn't believe what he just did. Yet, what he did was all for one reason: feelings. He hated them. He knew that something so warm and fuzzy could emit so much pain at the same time. What he hated more was whenever he tried to avoid them, they'd always come back to him.

At that moment, he knew something. Something that was so blatantly obvious that he'd been avoiding since forever. The thought always hung in the back of his head but never did he stop to think that it was actually true. All the signs came together to form a picture and the straight line he'd always seen himself as was curving.

He was gay.

He wasn't into girls anymore; he stanned Exo with everything he had (everything); he swooned over the hot guys he walked passed or saw from far away...

And he liked Haechan.

To him, this news was jaw-dropping shocking. The urge to run to his boy and apologise for breaking his heart was at its highest. The only thing stopping him from doing that was the stupid letter he wrote to make sure he wouldn't run back to him. He admitted to himself that he did like Haechan and wanted to be with him, but distractions are a pain, a pain that can and will be avoided at all costs.

The moment he stepped foot into his apartment, he buried his hands in his hair and dumped himself on the couch. For some reason, he felt liquid trickling from the tear ducts of his eyes, down his cheeks and to the surface of the sitting area. However, he didn't feel like he was crying. In fact, he was happy that there were nil distractions and that maybe he had a shot at excelling in the music industry. He was happy.

At least, he was supposed to be happy...

Why did he feel so emotional? Why did everything he do to benefit his future feel as if it was for nothing? Why did he feel so keen to just drop everything and follow his heart? Was it because he wanted to see Haechan? Was it because leaving his new group of close friends was too much? Was it because he knew he made a mistake?

Whilst asking himself these questions, Mark came up with infinite excuses as to why his decision was the wrong one. All of the above applied to him. He could feel that wretched flip in his stomach when you realise you've made a terrible mistake. The worst part was that this mistake was irreversable.

It was too late...

***

After a whole month of studying his ass off, Haechan felt as if exam season was a breeze. He covered everything from bottom to top: his dance was flawless and in sync; music theory was unbearably easy and he could almost speak in fluent-like conversational English.

Nothing was a surprise when it came to exams, but everything seemed to surprise him as soon as he stepped out of the house for their first exam:

His skin burned in the daylight. Surprised.

His mother wasn't at a business trip for once. Surprised.

He did not feel the slightest bit nervous about the exams. Surprised.

He actually wanted to talk to his friends again. Surprised.

He felt sorry for what he said to Renjun. Surprised.

He acknowledged his friends in the hallway instead of ignoring them. Surprised.

Renjun spat at him and didn't accept him back into the group. Surprised?

He finished the first exam half an hour early with a mountain of wet tissue stuffed in his blazer pocket. Surprised.

He almost got beaten to the ground on the way home. Surprised.