Before the Fall

Chapter Thirty-Two - Old Wounds

Namjoon

I think I stared at Yoongi for a full minute as the words he spoke sank in.

I knew he saw a lot of Moonsik, and even Sugar his cat, in Aster at the moment. I wasn't sure that was exactly a healthy thing, though.

"Yoongi, do you think this is wise?"

"No way. Not you," said Aster defiantly.

Yoongi kept staring at her, his eyes on her white ears and his mouth twitching like he was fighting back tears. "Please, I want to do this."

I was shocked at how pitiful he seemed.

"He hates me! He made that clear the other day when he 'babysat' me!" Aster didn't seem to be too enthused about the idea of Yoongi being her new bodyguard.

"I don't hate you," he whispered, finally looking away from her.

I looked at him carefully and listened as he continued to speak.

"I want to take responsibility. I want to protect her from everything I couldn't protect him from."

"I'm not your friend," Aster said flatly, clearly having no sympathy towards him.

I frowned and crossed my arms. "Yoongi, she clearly doesn't want you. You need to respect that."

"Please, Aster. He was my friend. Let me do this in his honor. I won't hurt you. I won't mock you. I'll leave my card deck in my quarters." Yoongi was looking rather vulnerable and even more pathetic.

I cringed.

He was a tough guy, always stoic, and collected. This was very uncharacteristic for him.

"Yoongi, stop embarrassing yourself," I said flatly.

Aster seemed to be considering his offer. I was amazed.

And a little jealous.

I wanted her to ask for me. To ask me to be her escort around the post. I wanted to spend more time with her.

"Fine. But only on a trial basis."

Yoongi's face lit up and I hadn't seen him smile so widely since before Moon died. "Let me know when you want to go."

He smiled awkwardly and then quickly retreated from the room.

Aster smiled and looked at me. "He's not so bad, I just wanted to make sure he was going to promise to not be a jerk."

"You wanted to see him beg?!"

This woman...

She laughed and my ears soaked up the pleasant sound.

"Maybe a little?" she admitted.

"Oh my word," I said, chuckling and rubbing my face with my hands. "Well, I hope to see you out and about sometime soon. But just know we will need to get prepared for Li's arrival, so try not to keep Yoongi out too much, hm?"

I tried desperately to swallow my ego and my irritation with the situation.

"You...you're leaving right now?" Her voice was quiet, almost sounding disappointed as I walked over to the door.

My heart jumped. I looked back over my shoulder. "Do you want me to stay for a bit?"

She held her right arm with her left hand and I could see her fidgeting a bit. "It's lonely down here. Plus, I really need to just talk to someone," she said, her voice fading into a whisper.

I nodded and slowly turned back to my seat, sitting down and trying to look calm.

"What do you want to talk about?"