Anything&Everything

Life is a rollercoaster

"If you wake up in the morning feeling like your world is crumbling, you can be falling asleep that night feeling like you are on top of the same one"- I remember Shawn saying that in a video called "Dare to live" and that phrase really caught my attention.

I guess life is a rollercoaster and I only realized that now. For me it's a bit different. I can wake up feeling on top of the world, but evenings are the time when I feel the worst and like everything is crumbling. That's how it has been for me lately.

Sometimes I feel like I am over dramatic and that I overthink certain things. But at the same time I do find myself struggling a lot and then I think, maybe if it bothers me so much, it's not nothing? Feelings don't appear out of nowhere. There is something triggering those emotions and I shouldn't just ignore them.

Right now I feel like everyday is a new challenge for me. I am overcoming certain fears and sometimes it's easy and doesn't need that much effort, but sometimes it's so fucking hard. Like today. I had such an amazing morning, hanging out with my friend, going to the cinema. But now I am back in my room, consumed by different thoughts and on the verge of tears. Things happen. Healing takes time and I get that. But I can't get rid of the thoughts like "When is this going to end? Why do I have to go through that? Why does it feel like I am the only one struggling here?"

I am the kind of person who believes that every situation is an experience. Yes, it can be very hurtful, painful and requires a lot of time to heal but it always, always, makes you a stronger and a wiser person. And I think that's the only thing that keeps me going. I just keep telling myself that this is a lesson I need to learn, so that in the future I know how to deal with it much better.

I feel like this has become my journal of some sort. Writing things on here helps me feel a bit more at ease. I hope that later I will look back on this and think " I have become so much stronger since I have written this. I am proud of myself".

❤️