Had a very cute and special moment with my dad a few days ago. We are both huge fans of Adele. Our music taste is quite different but when it comes to her, we are both equally as obsessed. So, we were on our way from the grocery store, it was already dark outside, we had some music playing in the car, when the song Someone Like You came on. I started to sing along as always and my dad was just humming.
When he stopped the car, we sat there for like a minute both quietly singing along to the song. And maybe someone will think it's silly and won't understand what is so special about this , but I felt so much love in that moment. Music holds such a power over people and our emotions and those 2 minutes turned my day from the shittiest one ever, to the one I'll remember for a long time. Just having this bonding experience with my dad over something so simple, made me feel so happy and loved.
My dad is my best friend. We have the same sense of humor. We send each other the most inappropriate and stupidest memes and jokes. And we are like the craziest duo you can find.
But also, he always knows what's wrong. And right now I do feel like a bad daughter for not telling him what's going on with me. I know that he knows that I am stressed. Anyone can see that. But I don't think he understands how deep everything actually is. I have thought about going to him and asking for help so many times but I am scared. Scared to make him worried. Scared to make him feel upset. And I am writing this with tears in my eyes because I feel so pathetic for not having done it yet because I know that he will understand. Just this fear is not letting me go.
There was a very rough period in my life when I was around 11 years old and older. Whenever we would go on vacation without my dad or he'd have to leave on some work trip, I'd be in hysterics every day for at least a week before that day. I'd cry sooo much because I didn't want to go anywhere without him. My head was going crazy.
I think it was the "goodbye" part that always killed me the most. Afterwards I'd be fine. I just had to live past that moment and then I'd be happy. And that was the crazy thing. I understood that. I remember sobbing into my dads shirt and saying " I know I will be okay and everything will be great, but I am still crying for some reason". I couldn't control my emotions.
Around the same time I had certain sleeping problems. I was scared to sleep alone in a room and I also was terrified of not being able to fall asleep right away. And my dad would sit in bed with me until I fell asleep. Sometimes it would be until 10 pm, sometimes until 2 am. And guess what. He never said a word to me. He never said that he was tired and wanted to go to his bed already and that I should deal on my own. He'd try to talk to me, he'd hold my hand. Most importantly, he was just there. By my side. That was all I needed in that moment.
I did go to see a therapist several times because my parents really didn't know what was happening and why I was feeling that way. It got scary and unhealthy.
There are so many more things I can say about my dad and how amazing he is. So many more stories tell, and I probably will share some of them in the future. But for now, I just want to say that I am very lucky and blessed to have him as my dad. We have our differences but he also gets me like no one else. I love him. ❤️
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