Anything&Everything

What Being A Fan Means To Me

This is a something that I have been meaning to talk about for a really long time. It is very different for everyone and there isn't even a proper definition for it. And there shouldn't be. I think it's so cool how everyone feels differently about it and has their own way of perceiving it. I am going to talk about what it means to me, what I feel and why I feel so. I really hope you enjoy❤️

The definition of a fan:

A fan. For me that's not a creepy stalker(even though we do call ourselves stalkers sometimes, it's still very different. Without they word creepy😂) a psycho, who doesn't know what personal space means, that you shouldn't try to find that persons house, jump on them, follow them in the streets for hours, because it will make you feel like you are doing something with them, like a "friend". It's not a person who likes someone only for their looks. It's not someone who claims to be a fan but the minute their "idol" does something they don't agree with, they say, oh that's horrible, I unstan, they are disgusting. No, that's not a fan.

For me, a fan is a supporter. Is someone who is there for their idol through thick and thin, through easy and tough times and instead of betraying them when they are struggling just because they think that "it's not what they are here for", they help, by saying kind words, by being there for them. A fan is someone who is willing to be there for their idol no matter what it is. But not in an unhealthy way. It's absolutely fine to disagree with something that person does or says. It actually shows that even if you go crazy over them at times, you are still able to see things clearly. You don't violate your principles just because that person believes or does things differently. And that's good. That's healthy.

Other people's views:

People, who have never been fans, don't understand how it feels to be one. But do they still judge? Of course they do. How can they not? It's so easy to say mean things to people and not think about the consequences. That's something that makes me absolutely fume. One thing a lot of people don't understand is that you don't pick an idol. It's not like, oh I am going to be your fan, cool! No. There is a very special emotional connection you feel. For example, with Shawn, I have known who he is for a really long time. Since his very first hits. But I only became a true fan last year. I discovered his songs "In my blood" and "Lost in Japan" and fell in love with them. I listened to them on repeat for several days and then decided that, when his full album comes out, I am for sure buying it. And in those months, while waiting for him to release it, I read a lot about him and his career. I watched performances, interviews, read articles, stalked him on Instagram and I was shocked, in a good way. By his personality, how sweet, loving, giving, empathetic he is. How mature and wise he is for his age. How he loves and adores his fans so much. How he never tries to show off or pretend to be someone else. He is his true self and that's what matters.

I hate how some people believe that we love him only for his looks. Fuck no. Yeah he is insanely handsome, there is no denying that( I think I could write a whole ass paragraph about that, but this is already so long, so let's skip that). But it's not why I adore him. He could get run over with a truck and it wouldn't change how I feel about him(this sounds very creepy and I hope it never happens to him but just bear with me).
He is so beautiful on the inside. I have never met anyone like him and that's what I am here for. I am here for his music, for his insane talent, for his inspiring talks, for his sweet and loving gestures, for his crazy dancing on stage, for his voice cracks, for his constant falls( I swear it will be the cause of a serious injury at some point), for his memeability( creating new words just for him), for his CK adds, for his cute selfies and interactions with young fans and many more.

How does being a fan makes me feel at times:

There are certain times when I feel insecure. I think that everyone finds me crazy for being so obsessed with someone and that I am like a little kid. It hurts a little bit, but I try to not pay much attention to that. What's the point? If you are doing what you love and it brings you happiness, then you should never feel bad about it( being a fan is not a job but it's still something that can bring you so much happiness)(also I am stealing some of Shawn's quotes but I hope he doesn't mind😅).

Every single day I get hit with this insane gratefulness for all the friends I now have because of Shawn. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have known half the people I talk to the most at the moment. I really can't imagine my life without them anymore. It's all of you guys. Who I have met through comment sections, through reading each other's stories. It still feels surreal to me, how many more amazing, smart and wise people I now know and I couldn't be more thankful for that.

What Shawn has taught me:

Oh, Shawn and his inspiring talks. That's a whole other story. I have learned soooo much from him. How to not judge people for no reason, how to love yourself more, how to be more positive and take stupid things less seriously and relax more. How to be grateful for the people you have around you. How to be yourself.
I really am so thankful for how much he has taught me, because I really see myself changing, heading towards becoming a better person and that's so cool.

One last thing, a little message to the rockstar himself:

Shawn,

I really cannot pur into words how much I love you and how much you mean to me. I cannot imagine my life without you. You have become such a big part of it, even though you don't know that yourself. I really hope that one day I'll be able to meet you and give you the biggest hug and tell you all that in person. You are a star. You are my inspiration for so many things. I have taken up new hobbies because of you. I started to love music even more than I did before because you showed me a new side to it. You taught  me how to be kinder and more loving towards other people. You have taught me that it's okay to mess up, to not feel hundred percent all the time. To ask people for help, to open up, to be honest and truthful about how you feel. And I can go on and on. You don't realize what a magical person you are. Keep up with the work you are doing. We are here for you, always and forever. No matter how old I am going to be, you will always have a special place in my heart.
Thank you for introducing me to my friends.
Thank you for being a huge support system in times when I feel like shit.
Thank you for your talent.
Thank you for your songs.
Thank you for all the love you give us.
Thank you for being you.

I love and adore you to the absolute death.

-Mary

❤️

This was a little inside look into what it feels like to be a fan for me. I hope some of you can relate. I am forever grateful for all you guys, thank you for all the love you show and give me. For your support through these tough months. I love you all❤️