Anything&Everything

Self-conscious

It's really cold here in Moscow today: rainy and 11 degrees celsius. When it's this cold, I have to wear windproof clothing and scarfs in order to prevent myself from getting the allergies. And it really sucks because most of the time I don't like how I look. Fashion and allergies are two very different things. I either can wear something I really like but then suffer from how itchy my skin feels and how much it burns. Or I can wear clothing, which will somehow prevent that and I will feel better, but won't really like how I look.

Today I was waiting outside for my friend and see my neighbor coming out, a girl a little bit younger than me. She is wearing a leather coat and some jeans and just looks really stylish and comfortable. And I felt so self-conscious in that moment for some reason. I had like these fifteen layers of clothes, which didn't really go together that well and it just didn't feel good. Maybe its stupid, but I did feel jealous. I do a lot of the times, because I really wish I could wear whatever I like, because clothing does make me feel more confident. Underneath I had my Shawn merch hoodie, which I actually got by mistake. I was supposed to get a T-Shirt but I guess the order was misplaced or something. It's not really my size, it's a bit too big, so it looks really long.( btw I am not complaining about it, I am really grateful that I was able to get some of his merch❤️)  So all in all I just felt a bit weird and didn't want to be seen for some reason.

Do you ever have situations where you don't feel confident about how you look?