WILD HEART (ENGLISH)

Weakness

A week had passed since the incident and I have been successful avoiding Brad, we have not exchanged a word since that day, just stares. Still, it continues to hurt and I really do not know what else to do to improve. Blake and I are still together and this has really helped me with the situation, when he's around I can have fun, forget about all this bad luggage that I carry with me for a while. He really is an incredible guy. Even after knowing the truth, he remains by my side, taking care of me and ensuring that I am happy even temporarily.

Brenda also has her share of responsibility in my well being. She's always around, just like Blake, to guarantee it and also to keep Brad away, I think he feels intimidated by her.

On the day we left the hotel, she suggested that I change buses and immediately ran over. It was bad to leave my best friends for a mistake that was not theirs, but staying so close to Brad would end up with me, it was all very recent. James also thought it was a good idea for me and Brad. It was a temporary solution to our problems until we were ready to face the situation.

Brad called me almost every night, it was clear he needed to talk to me urgently about it, but I did not have the structures to face him without collapsing in front of him. I needed more time, so I kept ignoring his calls. I was cleaning up my call history when I heard someone approaching.

— You can not avoid him forever, Y/n. — James said sitting next to me on the couch with two cups of tea, handing one out for me. I was alone there before. The boys were showering before the show. James was the first to return to the room.

— I know... But it's not the right time, James. — I sighed low, lowering my gaze to cup in hand.

— And when will it be?

— I don't know... It's what I want to find out. — I said taking a small sip in the tea, hot and sweetened, bringing some comfort.

— I do not think there's a right time, honestly. This problem of yours is delicate, but it must be resolved soon so that both can live. — He was right, I knew that, but I just could not. Looking at Brad broke me into a thousand pieces, still feeling the sadness in his eyes. He was my best friend. How did we get here? We could not even look right at each other. This is not how things should be. It seems he had foreseen it when we started the tour and we talked on the bus about how things could change. And they really have changed. A turn around a hundred and eighty degrees. — You will not be able to be 100% happy with Blake until this situation is unresolved. Just like Brad will not be able to move on without first resolving everything with you. Think about it.

— Jamie? — I caught his attention as he sipped his tea. — Do you think I'm being too hard on him? — I bit my lower lip in suspicion but he shook his head, resting his hand on my knee, caressing lightly.

— You're not being too hard, Y/n. It's understandable that you avoid it after what you've witnessed and he knows it, that's why he still respects your space. But one hour or another you need to get it right, you are best friends. — He paused, sighing low. — Was he wrong? Yes, very! This is obvious, I will not defend it. But we all make mistakes. It has been difficult for him too, do not doubt it.

— I will not be able to be alone with him and don't cry. He is my greatest weakness at the moment, Jamie.

— And you are his. — It was like a stab in the chest.

— I will not be able to talk to him. — I sighed heavily. — I just wish none of this had happened... I just wanted my best friend back. Maybe we started this was a complete mistake. — I felt my heart squeeze and my eyes fluttered. I struggled all these days not to let tears roll down my face again but it seems more and more difficult.

I looked up as I heard noises coming from the door and I could see them all coming back, having fun. I shook my head as if pushing away my tears and forced a smile at them, drinking some of my tea.

— How's my favorite girl going? — Blake joked, approaching us, kissing the top of my head.

— Enjoying a delicious tea in the presence of this noble gentleman. — I pointed at James, who bowed as he smiled. — Do you want some?

— I would never deny a cup of tea. What kind of British would I be? — He arched his brow and I chuckled, offering my cup so he could drink a little.

— I gotta go now. Talk to you later? — James smiled as he rose from the sofa and I nodded. — Richardson, take care of her. — He winked at Blake and walked away from us. Blake sat beside me on the couch as we shared the teacup.

— James really knows how to make wonderful tea, doesn't he? — I said chuckling, watching Blake nod as he took his last sip of the tea. — He always did it to me when I slept in their house, before bed and when I woke up. — I smiled weakly, remembering the old days, where nothing was complicated between us. I wanted things to still be like this.

— Hey... Things will get better, I promise. — He hugged sidely, stroking my arm.

— I hope so... — I looked at him again, and a doubt arose. — How are things between you and Brad? You know, after all. — I had not thought of that until then, how their friendship might have been affected. I felt selfish.

— We're good. We talked about it.

— Did he tell you about it? — He nodded. — So?

— It's not my place to say it to you. You and he need to fix it out for yourselves. — I rolled my eyes. Could not he explain the real situation? Maybe it would be easier to talk to Brad later. — You know I'm right.

— I hate when you're right. — He laughed and I followed him.

— You should be used to it already. — He grinned, and I gave him a little shove, laughing before getting up from the couch.

— Hey! — He caught my attention, making me turn to him. — I know you never stay the whole show, just until you get enough pictures, but could you stay today? — I frowned uncomprehendingly. — I want you to see something.

— It's better being worth, Richardson. — I joked with him, making him laugh as I walked away.