WILD HEART (ENGLISH)

Missing you

Once again I woke up with knocks on my door, which I did not really want to answer, lately, I've been successful in avoiding people, however dear they were. Luckily for me, Brenda, being herself, lost the copy of my key, but she was talking to me on cell phone messages, trying to convince me that leaving home would do me good. At that moment, for my luck, my cell phone was unloaded and I was not worried about putting it to charge. The message I hoped to receive would not come anyway.

Thinking about Blake was not easy. It was by the grace of his lips I found the happiness I sought while our love shone in moments of darkness, now everything seems more empty and cold. I already miss the way he held me in the morning, how he kissed me and held me in his arms with such tenderness, the time we spent in bed because we were talking and making plans. Plans that now I realize that will not materialize. I wish I could forget those moments, maybe it would be easier.

Again insistent knocking on the door interrupted my thoughts.

— Is that so then ?? — I heard Brenda say and I stayed on my bed, looking London out the window. Soon I could hear the sound of the door opening and I rolled my eyes. Damn, she found the key! — My goodness, something died in this room! — Brenda said as she walked into the bedroom and walked to the window to open.

— That was not what I expected to see, definitely. — James said. Shit! I pulled the sheet to cover myself, I wore only a sweatshirt and panties.

— Probably my dignity has died now that everyone has seen my butt. — I said and turned around, encountering Brenda and the four of them looking at me. — What is it? Meeting at my house now?

— Why did not you tell us? — Brad asked as he sat on the edge of the bed. I frowned, trying to understand what was happening and turned my gaze to Brenda.

— I lost your key and you did not answer me, I had to appeal to them. — She shrugged and I narrowed my eyes at her.

— You haven't answered yet. — Connor commented, turning my attention to them again.

— Because it was not necessary. I am fine! Don't you see that? — I smiled as if it were obvious as I looked at them, asserting to myself that everything was fine, maybe an hour I believed that. But the truth is, I still hoped that everything was a bad dream, that I would wake up and he would be by my side. I would hug him tighter than I ever hugged and would not let him go.

— Not really. — Tristan commented and approached me. — Look at the size of those dark circles! — He said and touched my face, making me slap his hand as he walked away laughing.

— Shut up!

— We're going to go out. Take a shower and change clothes. — Brenda said in an authoritative way and folded her arms as she waited for me to do something.

— But I don't want to go out.

— I do not think she's asking. — Brad commented as he scratched his head and laughed softly. I huffed and rolled my eyes, getting out of bed after spending too much time in it recently.

— Do not look at my ass. — I commented as I passed them and closed the bathroom door. During the shower, I looked at everything I had experienced and thought: how did I end up here? I thought about our last kiss, how I felt and how I had no idea it would be the last. Every time I try to pretend everything is fine, it gets a little harder. Nothing seems right.

After a hot shower, I changed my clothes and walked to the tv room where everyone was waiting for me. They decided we would have lunch at a restaurant we used to go to, near Hyde Park.

— So why did he break up with you? — James asked before he began to eat his salad and I shrugged.

— He said we were lost from the start, that maybe he rushed to ask me to be his girlfriend and that he did not know if it was love that kept us together. — I briefly commented in chilly tone everything he said to me that day, but the truth is that this conversation continued to echo in my head repeatedly, giving me stabs in my chest every moment I thought of him. Is he okay with this decision or is it also hurting him? I tried to ignore the knot in my throat and drank some of my lemonade.

— That's it? — Brad questioned and shook his head as he leaned back in his chair. — It can not be just that, Y/n. He clearly loved you. — I swallowed hard as I looked at him. I imagine what it was like for him to claim that Blake loved me to comfort me.

— What are you hiding from us? — Connor questioned me, turning my attention to him and I went back to eating my pasta.

— She's definitely hiding something. — Tristan commented as he laughed and I shot him with my glare, but I kept my silence.

— Blake thinks Brad will always be among them. — Brenda said as matter-of-factly as if Brad was not there.

— BRENDA! — I goggled my eyes as I looked at her.

— What? They already knew you were not saying everything and they are your best friends so that's fine, I did not commit a crime. — She shrugged and went back to eating.

— Me? — Brad frowned, looking confused. — But I barely see her.

— Yeah, that's what I said, but he did not buy the idea. — I raised my eyebrows and sipped at my drink, sighing low. — I know it's hard for him because of everything that happened until we got to where we are, but... — Before I could complete my reasoning, a voice interrupted me.

— I can not believe I found you here! — A familiar voice that made every vertebra in my spine shiver and my heart stop beating for a moment. A voice I would never forget.