WILD HEART (ENGLISH)

Time is not on our side

It was already past midnight when people began to go home, saying goodbye to everyone while they planned other meetings. Reece commented that it was time for us to go too while Blake hugged me around the waist and George agreed.

— You can go, I'll stay a bit more. — Everyone frowned as they looked at me and Blake turned to me without understanding. — Brad and I agreed to talk at the end of the party.

— Will you finally bring it up? — Brenda looked impressed. — Wow! So, good luck! — She hugged me tightly. — If you need me, I'm just a call away. — I smiled and nodded, watching her walk away with Reece and George after we said goodbye.

— So are you going to have the conversation? — Blake asked and I nodded. — Look, Brad is my friend and I know he's your best friend, you need to sort it out, but part of me... — He paused and sighed softly, stroking his hair.

— Hey... — I wrapped my arms around his neck and looked at him, smiling. — Nothing will happen, I promise. Do you trust me? — He just nodded his head and kissed his lips quickly. — I'll be right back home, lying right next to you, before you know it.

In the peripheral vision, I saw Brad going up the stairs and realized it was time to go. I bade farewell to Blake and walked toward his room, finding the door ajar. I walked in and closed it, watching Brad sitting on the bed with his hands on his knees.

— Where do we start? — He questioned me as I walked towards him, sitting next to him.

— I want to know everything that happened that night. — I looked at him seriously, ignoring the knot that formed once more in my throat as I remembered.

— I-I can not answer that because I do not remember anything. — He sighed quietly, looking away. — I was in the hotel bar, I ended up drinking too much while talking to a group of people, including the two girls and the only thing I remember was to wake up with them there. — It was my turn to sigh. — I know this does not change anything, but I swear that's all I remember.

— I feel like our hands are tied.

— I'm a fool, I let you down and I'm ashamed for everything I made, that I hurt you and I'm the only one to blame. Truth be told, I'm a mess when you're away. But I promise everything will be different if you stay. It won't be a mistake. — He held my hand and looked in my eyes. Those damn angel eyes. One look and you're hypnotized. He'll take your heart and you'll pay the price

— Brad... — I sighed low again and felt a caress on my hand with his thumb, as he always did.

— Y/n, you know I want you, it's not a secret I try to hide. I know you want me because that day you had decided and chose to stay with me, so don't keep saying our hands are tied.

— There was a time when I would say that I am yours, completely yours, and I would go anywhere with you, without even caring where. Because what I wanted most was to be with you, with my best friend, the guy I truly loved and whom I believed to be my destiny. But I think the time is not on our side.

— So who can stop me if I decide that you're my destiny? Nothing could keep us apart. It's up to you and it's up to me. Night after night, day after day, and all I know is that I want you by my side until we're old. Because it's looking in your eyes that I see that's where I need to stay to find peace and be happy. — He squeezed my hand gently, grinning as he kept his gaze on mine. — I just wish I could lie down with you now and just breathe, being sure everything is going to be fine as long as we're together.

— You think it's easy, but there's Blake in the middle of it.. — I got out of bed and walked around the room, turning to him again as I hugged my own body. — He's my boyfriend now, and I'm happy with him.

— You think you moved on, but that's a lie. Everyone knows that if it had not happened, we'd both be together, you'd have chosen to stay with me when I screwed up. If I could just turn back in time... — He sighed again, tossing his hair nervously as he paused. — You're fooling yourself because he's good for you during this bad time. — He stood up and walked towards me, the air beginning to lack every step that brought him closer to me. My heart pounding on my chest without any mercy. At that moment I knew I could not hide the effects he had on me. — Tell me you don't feel this and I'll give up.

— I... — I took a deep breath, trying to say no and that he should not insist because I'm with Blake but absolutely nothing came out of my mouth, neither a confirmation nor the denial. Giving him room to continue.

— Does he love you like I do? Touch like I do? — He smoothed my arms gently, making my body shiver unconsciously. — Does he hold you like me? Make you feel safe and free at the same time? — Now his arms were around me, not too tight or let loose, it was like the perfect fit. — Does he know the things that I know about you? Open your eyes and you will see all of the awkward situations, holding his hand you wish it was mine. — I wanted him to be wrong right now, but he was right. On several occasions I wished to be with him, that was him hugging me and telling me that everything will be okay.

— He loves me like him and that's enough. And you're right, there were moments when I wished it were you, but I remembered that night and thanked Blake for keeping me standing when everything seemed to be collapsing over my head. — I let go of his arms and pulled away slowly, turning my back so he would not notice my eyes with tears again. I could not cry again, I need to be strong to solve this situation.

— Every street that I drive by it takes me back to your bedroom, your perfume, the gray hoodie, you say you love me while we're laying on your bed doing absolutely nothing. — I turned to see him and he smiled in a corner as he stared into nowhere, as if the scene passed before his eyes. — I miss those days. Do you?

I took a deep breath, closing my eyes for a moment and nodded.

— I miss how things were simple and light at this time. — I opened my eyes to look at him again. I'll be lying if I said it doesn't ever cross my mind, how we love and how we laughed until we cried.

— They can be. We just need to get over this storm. Y/n... — He stepped closer and took my two hands. — You know we can. We've always found a way in all the situations we face together, always.

— But back then we had not gotten involved and spoiled everything. We should not have risked our friendship. I miss how things were. Of how we both were. I used to feel that we were invincible.

— Sometimes you just know, you feel it on your bones when you meet the right person, something tells you that she's the one and I felt this since the first time we met. Every moment by your side gave me more and more certainty of this, but I was afraid to risk and lose what I had most precious: your friendship. But now I'd rather crash, I'd rather crawl than never have felt your love at all, winning or losing. — Brad held my face in his hands, caressing with his thumbs, wiping any tears that flowed through it at that moment. — For you, I'd risk it all. — He smiled up at me with those brown eyes once more. — For us.

Hearing those words so heartfelt and deep of him struck me full, I was more lost than I could imagine. Now I understand when they say the feeling is only real if it hurts you. Not in the sense that the person should really hurt you and ruin everything, but that if it strikes you in any way, it is because it means so much to you, sometimes more than you realize.

— I know you're not ready to go on with me and I respect that as well as I'll continue to respect your relationship with Blake. But you can't pretend forever that we can stay as just friends.

— Knowing me and you, there's nothing we can do right now. We just have to face it, this time we're through. I know it's not easy, for me neither, but things are like this now. I'm ready to leave it all behind and resume our friendship. — He was not happy about it, but he nodded, forcing a smile as he opened his arms to me.

— I missed you... — He whispered as he kissed the top of my head, wrapping his arms around me.

— I missed you too. — I smiled, looking up at him, watching him smile back at me. That's how I knew that, despite all the waves and storm, everything would be fine.