WILD HEART (ENGLISH)

Happier

Brad's POV

A month since we've been away. A month since I let you slip through my fingers. One month you're closer to him. A month and I still do not know what happened that night, just blurs. I force my mind to remind me of what happened to try to fix it. But how could I explain to you about that night when I myself don't know?

Is it a bad time to tell you I love you? That I need you as I watch you walk away? That's a bad time to tell you to trust me and I'm the only one to blame, that you're confused about me, about me being or not the Brad you used to know and I have a lot to prove.

I wish I had not drunk so much, I wanted to remember, to fix what I did, to fix your heart from the damage I caused myself. Being the one who puts a smile on your face that makes you laugh until you cry that makes you late for work because of a breakfast that lends you sleep clothes and does not even care when you do not give them back because they stay better on you, anyway. To be able to hold you and say that everything will be fine while I stroke your hair when everything seems to go wrong, who cares for your heart and your well being, as in the old days. The person who knew how to be your best friend all this time without saying what I really felt for fear of ruining everything. And that's what I did. Maybe I should have kept it that way, we would not be like this, hurt and living like we did not spend sleepless nights wanting that time back.

But seeing the surprise that Blake has made for you now and the way you're smiling after a few weeks, I realize that you deserve more. Someone like him. Someone who would never let you down, who would never drink until forgot what happened and wake up in the middle of a mess with bodies that are not yours, which are not what you want. Someone I know will take care of you and it will make you happy. Some say that you are happier, you seem to be, that someday I will be too; others that you are just taking care of your heart to heal it. I just know I was happier with you. " Ain't nobody hurt you like I hurt you. But ain't nobody love you like I do", I feel like this was written for me.

I know Blake, he's a good guy, but he doesn't know you like I do. I know everything there is to know about you, from head to toe. The way you change moods, the way you dance when no one is watching and the way you talk to yourself all the time. Your stories (even the most embarrassing ones), how you act when you're drunk, your wishes as a teenager, like that tattoo hidden by your panties just because it's a snippet of a song of your favorite band, your wishes of the present and your future ones; I know all your goals, your wish to have a big family and for professional success; how you hate that they put parsley in your food, like bell peppers makes you feel bad after eating and how you used to hate some things when you were a child and now you can not imagine any other way. We had a connection that I thought no one could destroy, not even me.

I lost something that can't be replaced, no matter how hard we try to move on as tears roll down our faces silently. We lived the wreck and now we are collecting the pieces, learning to live when love is in the dark. This is not where we belong. As close as two complete strangers. It keeps me up at night.

You need space and time, but I hope one day you'll come back to my arms, and I'm going to wait for that. There's a lot of things that I need to say, but I know I'm late. So I decided to do what I do best: putting my heart on a paper and on a melody.