The Dare | Yoonjin

Chapter 18

Jin POV

I don't bother staying on campus for the rest of the day after leaving the cafeteria. I just head home instead. I don't want to be anywhere near anything that will remind me of that fucker. I don't want anything to do with him anymore and I may actually lose my mind if he bothers so much as showing his face near me tomorrow when I return for classes.

I slam the door shut behind me when I finally get home, tossing my bag off to the side of the room before heading to the stairs. I don't bother making myself something to eat for lunch since I didn't get the chance on campus, no longer having any sort of appetite by now. I just go straight to my bedroom instead, emotions raging inside of me.

Flopping onto my bed, I whine loudly in frustration.

I don't know how to feel about any of this. I don't know how to feel, I don't know what the think, I don't fucking know anything right now.

I guess I really shouldn't be too surprised though, right? It's Min fucking Yoongi. The guy who's known for being cold and emotionless, getting into fights all the time. I guess I should've seen it coming that he fucks people on the side when he deems he's got time and doesn't think he'll get caught too. I suppose that would fit his personality pretty damn well. Matches everything else that that fucker is known for.

I just... Why the hell does it hurt so damn bad? Why does it hurt knowing he was with someone else earlier, rather than being with me after having been gone for four and a half days? Why do I feel cheated on, when none of what he and I had was real in the first place?

It was supposed to be some stupid dare that I got dragged into. One that I would have to suffer through the next week and half still. Yet, there's nothing left of it already, and we had only been a week into it. I knew I'd be miserable with having to pretend I'm dating the campus asshole, but I didn't expect anything like this. I didn't really think I'd get hurt like this, or could actually get hurt for that matter.

I should be glad it's over. Grateful that I don't have to suffer dealing with him anymore. That I no longer have to be anywhere near him, and don't have to worry about so much as even touching him. Glad that I don't have to see him or touch him or fake anything at all anymore.

So why do I miss it? Why does this hurt so bad? Why do I feel like I'm the one who lost something from this dare, when I had nothing to lose or gain from the start of it? Why do I actually feel mildly disappointed that I won't be seeing or hearing from him anymore? Why am I somewhat disappointed and actually hurt over the fact that he was with someone else?

Hell, it's not even like he was hurting anything really. I probably overreacted from all of it anyways.

So what if he was fucking someone else? It's none of my business. I told him a number of times that nothing would ever develop between us. That I hated him and that I never wanted anything to do with him. That I wanted to be around him and near him as little as possible. That I wanted him to stay as far away from me as possible after the dare had ended. That I could never fall for him.

So why am I the one sitting here and in pain? The one that's hurting from all of this? Why was I so frustrated and hurt from his actions? Hell, why am I even surprised? Why did I get so mad?

I shouldn't be surprised... I told him he'd never have any sort of real chance with me. It's no wonder he decided to go and fuck someone else that wouldn't mind it.

I just wish this didn't hurt so badly. I wish I knew why I care so much. I wish I knew why this hurt so badly. Hell, I wish I knew what happened.

I don't want to care. I don't want to hurt. I don't want to feel anything for him. I want to continue enjoying my time with him nowhere near. I don't want to miss him or anything that we did.

And hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day. One where I won't have all these confusing feelings. Where I won't have this pain and where everything will just go the fuck back to normal.