The White Witch *COMPLETE*

12- We're Not

I leaned back and considered her. My first reaction was to just talk about every little thought in my head, but this was different than my mom dying when I was little. No one knew what was constricting my chest these days and if it got out, there would be a lot of trouble. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't risk her going to my dad.

"It's just been a lot with all these attacks." I said, which wasn't a lie. "I don't sleep much." How could I with Douglas up all night in a rage? He was either pissed or freaking out. Every. Single. Night. It'd been a week and I could only sleep after the sun came up and he finally passed out. Some of my abilities I could shut off, but not this one apparently.

"Do you still do the breathing exercises we used to practice?" She asked.

I nodded. "I meditate like all the time or I'd lose my mind." I had to keep my mind under control to keep my magic under control. And that still didn't work sometimes. Like when stupid men kissed me.

She messed with some papers. It was a habit she had when she was thinking over what to say next. That or whoever ratted me out wrote her a note.

I sensed she was hesitant to say something. "What is it?" I pressed.

She pursed her lips in thought, then clasped her fingers together and made eye contact. "I understand you've been spending quite a bit of time with Mr.Douglas."

Aaaannnd there it is. "Oh, I see. Dad put you up to this."

"No, no." She lifted a staying hand like I might bolt. I used to do that a lot, but I wasn't upset. At least not at her. "We're all just worried about your work is all. I want to make sure you're taking care of yourself. I know how you tend to put others needs above your own."

Well, she had me pegged. "Who's needs do you think I'm putting above my own?" I asked just to turn it around on her. She was on the edge of old fashioned and open minded. Just enough to not want to say what she thought I was doing out loud.

She lifted her hands as if to say she didn't know, then clasped them back together on top of her desk. "Why don't you tell me?"

"Okay," I sighed. "I put every single member of this coven above myself every second of every day. I fight for you all. I died once for you all before Soph resuscitated me. I can't afford a personal life. I can't move. I can't date. I can't even get a cat."

She was quiet for a moment. "Are those things you'd like to do?"

I gave her another flat look. "How would you feel if you had vampires breathing down your neck with that kid in there? I get attacked at all hours, at any time during any activity. You think I could afford something like that?"

Her expression turned sad as she looked back down at her papers. "I suppose not." Her hand moved to her belly and she looked back up at me. "Do you want kids?"

I hadn't thought about it in years. "No." It was too dangerous.

"Would you under different circumstances?"

"No." I said right away. "Is this what Dad wanted you to ask me? About when he was going to get grandkids? You sure it isn't about the overwhelming threat of death hanging an inch above my head?"

The corners of her lips twitched down just a fraction, like they did when I used to lash out. I knew what was coming the second she did that. "You're deflecting."

"No, you're trying to get me to relax so I'll answer the questions you actually care about." I pointed out. I knew how this worked. That tended to happen when a psychic went to therapy. That and I was kind of deflecting.